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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104979">STARSTRUCK</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowergyeom/pseuds/flowergyeom'>flowergyeom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ASTRO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Actor! Cha Eunwoo, Angst with a Happy Ending, College Student! Moon Bin, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Park Minhyuk | Rocky/Yoon Sanha, Starstruck AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:35:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowergyeom/pseuds/flowergyeom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>↷ Bin expected a normal trip to Seoul, but got slammed in the face by a door instead.</p><p> </p><p>Based on the Disney movie STARSTRUCK.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. ONE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>enjoy! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✰</p>
</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lee Dongmin knew, from the second he opened the door, that something wasn’t right. </p><p>Eyes wide, he peeked behind it. </p><p>There was a guy, and Dongmin watched as he stumbled getting to his feet and gripped tightly onto his nose. Next to him, on the floor, lay a pair of neglected, thick-rimmed glasses. </p><p>“Did I just hit you?”</p><p>“No,” the boy grumbled as he tilted his head back. Dongmin winced at the blood trickling down his nose. “I think the door totally hit me by itself.” With the way he squeezed his nose shut, his voice came out incredibly nasally. “They do that these days, engineering and stuff, you know? Very clever things.”</p><p>Dongmin blinked in response.</p><p>“Yes, you hit me,” he deadpanned.</p><p>Dongmin pursed his lips, moving away from the door. “Let me see.”  </p><p>The boy’s eyes widened. “What? No!” In an attempt to avoid that from happening, he threw his head further back, but that, unfortunately, did not work in his favor. </p><p>Dongmin watched as he nearly toppled over had it not been for the actor’s reflexes reaching for his arm. </p><p>As he stood back up straight, he was just about Dongmin’s height. The white sweater he had on was littered with red spots, and though he pinched his nose to stop the bleeding, the bottom half of his face also looked worse for wear. </p><p>“Do you see my glasses anywhere?”</p><p>“Uh—yeah,” Dongmin said, bending down to pick them up and place them in the hand that wasn’t on his nose. </p><p>“Thanks,” he said, awkwardly putting them on with one hand and most of his nose covered. </p><p>Frankly, Dongmin should have seen this coming. Once the glasses were situated, the boy let out a loud gasp. </p><p>“Wait,” he said slowly, “aren’t you Cha—”</p><p>He could not have anyone overhear, and considering the fan meeting had ended about half an hour ago, Dongmin wouldn’t be surprised if fans were still waiting for him to come out of the venue's front door. </p><p>Despite how disgusting it was, he did the only thing he could think of and covered the boy’s mouth with his hand. The way he needed to bend his hand to cover his mouth was awfully awkward, as the boy was still holding his nose.</p><p>“Are you going to yell out my name?” asked Dongmin sternly. </p><p>The boy shook his head. </p><p>“Promise?” </p><p>The boy gave him an unimpressed look, and Dongmin slowly removed his hand. </p><p>In fear of losing consciousness, he decided not to check the state of his hand and simply let his arm rest by his side. </p><p>The boy didn’t seem to care about Dongmin's queasiness. “You have blood on your hand now.”</p><p>Dongmin cringed, almost as if he was hoping it would’ve been clean. He cleared his throat using his other hand. “Has—uh—Has the bleeding stopped?”</p><p>The boy gave him another one of those dead-panned looks then waved a nonchalant hand. “Oh, it stopped <em>ages</em> ago. I just <em>love</em> the sound of my voice like this.” Dongmin did not find that funny at all. “Oh, you don’t think I sound charming like this?”</p><p>That question shocked Dongmin, but thankfully so, because he'd been out there way too long. </p><p>To round it up, he crossed his arms over his chest and attempted to appear serious. “Anyway, what were you even doing back here?”</p><p>“Oh,” he said, “my sister was at your fanmeeting. She left me to wait in the car but I had to pee.”</p><p>Dongmin furrowed an eyebrow. “You <em>are</em> aware that you could’ve gone to any of the nearby restaurants?”</p><p>The boy seemed to struggle holding his arm up this long. </p><p>He let out a sigh. “I’m not from around here and I think it’s rude to use the bathroom without buying something. And before you ask, I wasn’t gonna sit at a bar to get myself a Fanta. Besides, the car wasn’t parked. It just stood at the side of the road with the warning lights on.”</p><p>Dongmin squinted at him. “Then why didn’t you just park it somewhere else?”</p><p>The boy grimaced. “I—uh—can’t drive.” He scratched the back of his neck with his unoccupied hand. “And, well, the whole point of me going with her was to avoid parking. I was waiting for her to return. But seriously, why on earth are parking fees so expensive here?”</p><p>Dongmin ignored the question. “So you didn’t try to sneak in?” </p><p>“No,” he said solemnly, “I genuinely didn’t even know this was where the fanmeeting was held. The car’s quite a few blocks away. I really just needed to pee.” He paused for a second, then continued, “And I still need to.” </p><p>It seemed that Dongmin’s previous observation about the boy not being able to hold his arm up was right, as he, clearly reluctantly, replaced his right hand with his left. As he swapped them, some blood dripped out at the loss of contact.</p><p>Dongmin looked away quickly. “It’s... still bleeding pretty heavily.”</p><p>“Well, you did ram the door open in my face.”</p><p>“It was an accident!” Dongmin said seriously. “It’ll probably stop bleeding soon.”</p><p>“Woah,” said the stranger, slightly glaring. “I can’t believe you’re an actor <em>and</em> a haematologist. Your parents must be very proud.”</p><p>Now Dongmin glared back. “Yah, don’t be like that.”</p><p>The guy rolled his eyes. “My nose bridge has probably shattered, I think I’m allowed to be a little upset.”</p><p>Dongmin sighed. This dude was quite the dramatic. “I hardly think it’s broken.”</p><p>“Oh, so you’re <em>also</em> an orthopaedic?” The boy then sighed exasperatedly and looked up at Dongmin. “Look,” he said, “I just need to pee. I’ll pretend I’ve never seen you. Heck, I’ll pretend I have no idea who you are. Can I please just use the bathroom and wash this off?”</p><p>He didn’t enjoy admitting it, but Dongmin had to agree the boy seemed really desperate. Next to that, he himself wanted to get this guy’s blood off his hands, too. </p><p>Biting his lip, he looked back at the door and then back at the boy.</p><p>“Okay,” Dongmin said finally, taking the cap from his head and securing it on the boy’s. “Stay quiet and keep your head down, okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, okay, cool. Thanks. Like, a lot.”</p><p>Dongmin opened the door, then instantly closed it, removing all sources of light. </p><p>“God, why is it so dark?” asked the boy. Dongmin put his hand on the back of the boy’s neck, keeping his head down. </p><p>“Shhh,” Dongmin hissed. Taking the fastest route to the nearest bathroom still wasn’t very fast. He had already bid his farewells to his staff members and suddenly being back would surely raise suspicion. </p><p>“Are we almost there? My head’s starting to hurt.”</p><p>Dongmin fought the urge to kick him. “Almost.” </p><p>And then, all of sudden, at the end of the hall, he saw a member of his security team. Just like he’d seen in many dramas, and even performed in some of his own, he threw himself and the boy in a different direction, out of sight.</p><p>“Jesus,” the boy cursed, breath having been knocked out of him. </p><p>“Shhh,” Dongmin hissed again, more persistently. </p><p>“I’d like to use my back after this,” he whisper-yelled.</p><p>Dongmin couldn’t resist the urge anymore and kicked his foot. </p><p>“Ow!” he yelped. </p><p>Within an instant, a “Who’s there?” rang through the hall. Dongmin cursed under his breath, then stuck his head out from the wall. </p><p>He flashed a smile. “Hi. Just me. I forgot something.” </p><p>He received a simple nod in response, then waited until the security guard was out of sight. </p><p>Thankfully, the bathroom was just a few steps further down the hall. </p><p>Dongmin checked the hall once more before looking back at the boy, who, for the first time, willingly kept his head down.</p><p>“Is the coast clear?” he whispered.</p><p>“Yeah.” Instead of the back of his neck, Dongmin took his arm this time. They took the last few necessary steps and then the actor slowly opened the door in an attempt to check if anyone was already in there, but before he could even start checking the boy already stepped in and moved towards the mirror. </p><p>“<em>Jesus</em> Christ,” he said, and Dongmin honestly wasn’t expecting a different reaction. There was blood everywhere on both his face and hands but it did seem like the actual bleeding had finally stopped.</p><p>Dongmin turned on the faucet, pumped out some soap and began washing off the blood on his own hands. The boy copied his actions, but took off his glasses to splash water onto his face in an attempt to get everything off. </p><p>Dongmin tapped his shoulder and handed over some tissue to help dry his face.</p><p>“Thanks,” he said gratefully.</p><p>Now that the blood was mostly gone and a hand was no longer covering his nose, Dongmin could really see him. Dark hair, long face, sharp eyes. </p><p>Handsome.</p><p>The actor leaned on the sink a bit, watching the other clean the last bits of red from his fingernails. “You said your head hurt earlier? How does it feel now?”</p><p>The other chuckled dryly. “Like it might fall off.” He lifted his glasses to rub at his eyes. “But like, I’m in university so this is kind of similar to how it usually feels.”</p><p>That got a little laugh out of Dongmin, then he said, “You done?”</p><p>The boy chuckled awkwardly, then his eyes moved to a cubicle. “I still need to, you know....”</p><p>Dongmin’s eyes opened a little wider. How could he have forgotten that that was kind of the point of this bathroom run? </p><p>“Right. Uh—yeah. Right.” They looked at each other for about two seconds before the boy moved inside one of the cubicles. </p><p>And then Dongmin just stood there.</p><p>He tried his hardest to play literally any song in his head, all to avoid listening in, he thanked the heavens it worked decently well.</p><p>After hearing the toilet flush, the stranger walked out holding the ends of his sweater, then looked up at Dongmin. “You think I’d get arrested walking around like this?”</p><p>Dongmin blinked, then grimaced. “Honestly?” Looking back at him, he noticed the boy’s eyes weren’t meeting his, but were rather on his chest, or better said, the jacket Dongmin wore. “Absolutely not,” he said, pulling the jacket closer to his body.</p><p>He looked slightly surprised at the blatant refusal. “I’m literally gonna get arrested because you slammed a door in my face.”</p><p>Dongmin looked to the side, tilting his chin like a stubborn child. “You said the door opened because of engineering. It wasn’t me.”</p><p>“Yah,” the boy squinted and pointed at him, “don’t use my jokes against me.”</p><p>Dongmin, at this point, just wanted to get to his hotel and sleep. He opened the door to the bathroom and motioned towards the hall like some airplane host. </p><p>“Am I going to have to sacrifice my back again?” asked the boy with a whine, walking towards the door.</p><p>The actor sighed. “They won’t be able to arrest you if you’re already dead.”</p><p>At the mention of death, the stranger took ahold of Dongmin’s hand in his and placed it on his neck. “Lead the way!” </p><p>The actor predicted everyone had already left by now, including the security guards, but he wasn’t going to take any risks. </p><p>And that appeared to be a clever thing to do, because the new voice that rang through the hall ran a shiver down Dongmin’s spine. With a hand still on the guy’s neck, Dongmin looked over his shoulder at his manager, or otherwise said, his father. </p><p>He gave him an awkward grin. “Hi, abeoji.”</p><p>The man raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“Uh—” There was a pause. Dongmin could literally hit himself in the head. He was an actor, for Christ’s sake, and he couldn’t come up with something on the spot. “Nothing?”</p><p>“The hell you mean ‘nothing’?” his father retorted, walking closer to the two. “Did you get into a fight?”</p><p>“With a door,” the stranger mumbled. Dongmin didn’t hesitate in kicking his shin. “Ow! Stop hurting me!”</p><p>Dongmin sighed, running his other hand over his face. “Long story short, I hit him with a door and brought him to the bathroom to clean off the blood. I’m taking him outside now.”</p><p>“Okay? Why are you holding him like he’s a prisoner?”</p><p>“I’d like to know, too,” came from the boy. </p><p>Dongmin just shrugged. </p><p>“Okay, well, take him out,” said the man dismissively. “Did you get all your stuff?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Dongmin said with a nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow, abeoji.” </p><p>The second the stranger stood up straight, about three bones popped and he let out a relieved breath of air. “Remind me to never commit any crimes.”</p><p>“No one should have to be reminded of that,” Dongmin said as they finally reached the exit, and the bag he’d originally meant to put in the car lay neglected next to the door. </p><p>He figured he'd grab it once he made sure the boy had left. He couldn't have this guy steal his time <em>and</em> his belongings.</p><p>“Well,” said the actor as they made it back outside. “Have a nice night.”</p><p>The boy bowed quickly in thanks, then started fishing for his phone in his pocket. Dongmin walked back to the door, but found himself just standing there watching the boy and he had no idea why. In his mind, he was telling himself he was just waiting to see the guy off, to really make sure he left, but that somehow seemed only partially true. </p><p>The guy put his phone to his ear, and the person on the other side of the call spoke loud enough for Dongmin to follow the entire conversation. </p><p>The actor face-palmed himself. </p><p>Apparently, his sister had waited for her brother’s return for longer than she had been able to and eventually drove back to their hotel.</p><p>The boy cursed a handful of times before he noticed Dongmin was still standing there. “Oh, you’re still here?”</p><p>He felt a bit caught, and to give himself more time to come up with a plausible answer, coughed into his hand. “I ... wanted to make sure you left.”</p><p>“Well,” he mumbled, waving his phone momentarily, “I’d also love to leave but my sister drove off without me with no plan of coming back to get me and I don’t have my wallet.”</p><p>“Just use Apple Pay.”</p><p>He hissed between his teeth. “I use Android.”</p><p>Dongmin sighed. “Of course you do.”</p><p>The guy seemed offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Why did your sister drive off?” Dongmin asked, ignoring the previous question. Surely his sister wouldn’t leave him stranded in a city he apparently wasn’t familiar with.</p><p>The boy scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Long story.”</p><p>“Go on,” the actor said persistently. </p><p>He gave him a look, then sighed defeatedly. “My sister and I came to Seoul because she wanted to go to the fan meet and I, as a good oppa, decided to go with her. Besides, I don’t get to see Seoul that often. So she drove us here and quote unquote parked somewhere.” He was looking everywhere but at Dongmin. “So, I have the—uh—let’s say tendency to get, well, distracted? So Sua made me promise to stay in the car and not get distracted and ultimately leave the car. Which may have happened … often, and then she had to go look for me and I’m not the best at picking up my phone yadayadayada. And I was doing well, you know, just playing Subway Surfers until I had to pee. And then this all happened.”</p><p>Dongmin blinked. “And then she just ... left you here?”</p><p>The boy shrugged. “This isn’t the first time she’s done that. To be fair, it’s my fault anyway. I should’ve stayed in the car.”</p><p>“But you had to pee,” Dongmin said, kind of surprising himself. Was he sympathizing?</p><p>That clearly also surprised the other. </p><p>He scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, well…”</p><p>Dongmin took his bottom lip between his lips. “So what now?” It was already pretty cold and late and the guy apparently had no wallet on him. </p><p>He shrugged again. “Don’t know. I think I have enough battery life—” he lifted his phone to check, then grimaced, “—scratch that, I have 5% left.” He cursed.</p><p>Dongmin had no idea what to do. What if this boy was a new sesaeng? Then again, he had no camera on him, not even a jacket, and he wasn’t trying to hide his face like most of them. He didn’t seem like one, and though Dongmin didn’t have any good functioning lying detecting senses, he believed him. </p><p>And in the end, he did hurt the boy. </p><p>He sighed, grabbed his bag and left the door, walking closer to the boy. “What’s your name?”</p><p>The boy looked a little taken aback. “Moon Bin.”</p><p>Dongmin found himself nodding his head a little, then asked, “Do you have any sort of identification on you?”</p><p>“Uh—yeah, hold up,” said <em>Moon Bin</em>, scrolling through his phone. </p><p>After a few second, he showed Dongmin a picture of his college ID. There was a mug-shot-looking photo, as there always was, and next to it his name and his birthdate; Moon Bin, born on the 26th of January in 1998. </p><p>Dongmin didn’t know what to really do with this information. At least he now knew the boy’s name and what university he attended, but he wasn't sure how to move on from there. </p><p>“What hotel are you staying at?”</p><p>Bin scratched his eyebrow. “This is gonna sound a bit stupid,” he said sheepishly, “but my sister always takes care of everything. Let me look up the name.” He went back into his gallery.</p><p>“She sounds more like your noona than your dongsaeng.”</p><p>That got a little laugh out of him. “That’s what everyone always says. But... I don’t know, we work well together.” He smiled fondly. “Some things I take care of, some things she takes care of. Oh, I found it, it’s this one.” He turned his phone so Dongmin could see, and he recognized it easily. It wasn’t too far away by car, but quite a walk. “You know it?”</p><p>“Yeah. I know it.”</p><p>Bin seemed relieved. “Awesome. Could you maybe give me some directions? Just like a general direction I need to go in, I can ask other people to help me along when I’m lost.” That seemed a bit scary, if Dongmin was honest. “Should be fine, right?” Dongmin’s eyes moved down to the boy’s sweater, who then also looked down. “Oh, right. Fuck. I forgot about this.” He sighed frustratingly, then grabbed the bottom of his shirt and started pulling it towards his head.</p><p>“What the he—” Dongmin hissed, stepping forward and pulling the sweater back down. “You’re gonna walk around half-naked!?”</p><p>“No,” said the other, face very close to Dongmin’s own, “I was gonna turn it inside out.”</p><p>Dongmin blinked, then released his hold on the sweater. “Oh.” He put a hand on his forehead. This situation was incredibly fucked up. In front of him stood a very cute yet very strange boy whom he found oddly endearing with a high probability of getting lost in a city he didn’t know looking like an ax-murderer. He was gonna get arrested for sure, either for looking like a killer or for ‘harassing' people trying to get to a hotel and it would all be Dongmin's fault. </p><p>“Bin-ssi?” Dongmin said, barely a whisper. </p><p>“Bin’s—uh—Bin is fine,” he said with a small cough, “but yes?”</p><p>He was going to say it, he was really going to offer this. </p><p>“I’ll take you to your hotel.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✰</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. TWO</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✰</p>
</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>If you asked Dongmin, he’d say he would rather have Moon Bin talk than fiddle uncomfortably with the sweater in his lap. </p><p>Though the actor hadn’t cared much, seeing as the bloodstains were on the front of his sweater and not the back, Bin refused to get in the car with it on.</p><p>So the boy now sat in his car bare-chested.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Bin suddenly said, breaking the silence that had lasted a fair amount of minutes.</p><p>Dongmin looked at him briefly. </p><p>“You didn’t need to do this,” he continued, eyeing le the other, “really.”</p><p>Dongmin took a turn. “I'm the reason you're bleeding and then you didn’t know where you were going. I did not want to be responsible for your death.”</p><p>The student chuckled, then looked over. “If it helps at all, I wouldn’t have haunted you.”</p><p>Silence washed over them again, and Bin looked out of the window, a soft sigh leaving his mouth as he leaned on his arm. </p><p>Dongmin had met a lot of good-looking people in his life, yet no one had really ever looked the way Bin did. He was tall, quite muscular and somewhat intimidating-looking. But his voice was cutely high-pitched and despite his exterior, he seemed oddly clumsy and awkward. </p><p>“Eunwoo-ssi?” </p><p>Dongmin blinked, unaware he had spaced out. He looked to his right, and noticed Bin holding up a finger at the stoplight, which had turned green. The actor cleared his throat and hit the gas, trying not to seem embarrassed. “How’s—uh—How’s your nose feeling?” </p><p>The actor tried to not coo at the way the boy scrunched his face. “Sore still, but it’ll be fine.” Suddenly, Bin removed his gaze from the window, then looked at Dongmin with widened eyes. When Dongmin craned his neck to look out the window, he saw it too. Flashlights; cameras. </p><p>He bit his lip trying to figure out how to shake off paparazzi and still get to the hotel. </p><p>He himself had a hotel reservation as well, as his apartment was too long a drive from the venue so late at night, but it was not the same one. Taking Bin to his own hotel wasn’t the smartest idea, because people would get thoughts. He couldn't have paparazzi follow him to Bin’s hotel and watch the boy get out of the car. Rumors speculating his sexuality were already talked about too often, so he really couldn’t have this situation shown to the public.</p><p>But he knew once he entered the gates of his own hotel, he wouldn't be followed inside. </p><p>“Screw it,” he said, then suddenly took a turn. </p><p>“Wow, wow, wow,” Bin almost yelled, holding onto the roof handle, “this isn’t <em>Need for Speed!</em>” </p><p>Dongmin ignored him. </p><p>“Aren’t we going in the opposite direction of the hotel now?” Bin asked, turning to look through the back window.</p><p>“We’re going to my hotel instead,” said Dongmin, and he watched as Bin’s eyes grew bigger. He groaned. “I can’t have people see you get out of my car and they can't follow me into the hotel I’m staying at. I’ll call you a cab once we’re inside.”</p><p>Bin nodded slowly, seemingly processing it, then frowned. “Wait. How do you know they won’t follow you?”</p><p><em>Oh, perhaps because I’ve sneaked many boys into this hotel before</em>, was what he definitely did not say. </p><p>“I go to this hotel often,” he said instead, taking another turn. “They won’t get in. Also, these windows are tinted, no one will have seen you.” He didn’t know if Bin could tell, but he was trying to reassure himself more than the younger. </p><p>Bin replied with a nod, then leaned against the window again. He started softly humming a song Dongmin vaguely recognized but couldn’t recall the name of. It went like that for a while, Bin humming against the window and Dongmin trying not to sweat profusely because of the situation they had found themselves in. </p><p>He wanted to hit himself. He was really going to bring this boy to the hotel he was staying at. Of course, he reminded himself, it was all to further avoid any rumors, but he wasn’t sure exactly who he was fooling anymore. He'd already been seen with so many guys, going in and out of cars and hotels, but his parents were always able to talk the internet out of believing the rumors. </p><p> “What’s that song?”</p><p>“Oh, it’s Wannabe by ITZY,” Bin replied with a grin, starting to shake his shoulders. “You know, with the shoulder move.”</p><p>Dongmin furrowed a brow. “You’ll break something.”</p><p>“Nah,” said Bin confidently, adding his arms to the dance move now, “I’ve practiced a lot.”</p><p>Dongmin had always dreamed of becoming an idol, yet never pursued it for a lack of singing and dancing abilities as he'd always been told by his parents. But Bin could definitely become an idol if he wanted to, Dongmin thought. He was handsome, fit and could dance well.</p><p>“Eh—I don’t want to question your driving abilities or anything,” Bin said with an awkward cough, “but I think keeping your eyes on the road will keep us from dying an unfortunate death." He raised his hands in defense. "Then again, I don’t have a license so what do I know, right?”</p><p>Dongmin had no idea he’d been staring. Shaken out of his thoughts, he checked the rear-view mirror to find the vans still tailing him. </p><p>“We’re almost there,” Dongmin said, gritting his teeth. Why couldn’t these lowlifes leave him alone for once? Didn’t they already have enough pictures of him? Couldn't he have a few minutes of his day to himself?</p><p>Couldn't he have a few seconds to be Lee Dongmin?</p><p>Dongmin knew the routine of entering the hotel all too well. He’d hold up the key to his room for the scanner to read, watch the gates open and then enter the parking lot at the last second so no van could enter behind him. </p><p>He never parked outside, though. He always turned a corner to enter the parking lot on the inside of the hotel, as he would not have some sick reporter take pictures of him walking into the hotel with a boy. </p><p>His plans, however, were completely shattered as there was not a single free parking space. </p><p>He groaned, resting his head against the steering wheel. Why on earth did he decide to drive this guy home again? He should have known better. His parents always told him he was too empathetic for his own good. </p><p>Dongmin turned off the car. It could obviously not stay there, but he needed to figure out what to do first. </p><p>“Can’t you park outside?”</p><p>“I don’t want anyone to see you,” Dongmin mumbled against the leather, barely audible. He didn’t know if Bin understood the need to not to be seen together. The older didn’t even know if Bin knew anything about him other than his face, or specifically, the rumors. </p><p>“What if I get out so you can park outside and I meet you in the lobby?” Dongmin turned his head, looking at Bin curiously. “We can then call a cab and I’ll leave on my own so no one will know we were together.” </p><p>Dongmin’s eyes couldn’t help themselves as they looked at Bin’s torso, then grimaced. “You’re forgetting you have no shirt on and your only clothing option makes you look like a killer.”</p><p>Bin visibly cringed, then lit up suddenly. “Wait. You have no choice but to give me your jacket now.”</p><p>Dongmin looked scandalized, pulling the article of clothing closer to his chest. “That I paid <em>a lot</em> for, mind you.”</p><p>Bin narrowed his eyes at the actor. “I bet even the <em>pizza</em> you order is eighty times as expensive as mine, no need to rub it in. Besides, it’s just to get in the hotel with. I’ll put my sweater on when the cab’s here.”</p><p>Dongmin rubbed at his temples. “The driver is not gonna let you in with it on.”</p><p>“I’ll wear it inside-out.”</p><p>“You can still see the stains.”</p><p>Bin gave him a look. “Okay, <em>why</em> are you being so difficult?”</p><p>Dongmin tightened his grip on the steering wheel. </p><p>“You've made it very clear you want me gone and I’m just trying to figure out a plan to leave.”</p><p>Then the dam that was Dongmin's patience broke. “If you had just stayed in your sister’s car this wouldn’t have happened!” </p><p>That clearly caught Bin off guard. “Wait, what? It was <em>you</em> who insisted on taking me to my hotel!” </p><p>“You were supposed to refuse!”</p><p>The fire in the boy’s eyes, Dongmin was not prepared to see. Bin shook his head as he unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the door and got out. “I’m gonna take myself home,” he said before slamming the door shut. </p><p>Dongmin sighed, then dropped his head in his hands. </p><p>If the headlines of tomorrow’s paper read <em>Half-naked boy found dead</em> he would just pretend not to see it— pretend he'd never met him and definitely pretend he wasn’t the reason for his death. </p><p>He groaned loudly. </p><p>He hoped someone would find Bin and help him. He was sure the boy’s phone must have died by now and Dongmin’s hotel was further from Bin’s than the fansign venue even was. </p><p>The realization made him gasp.</p><p>He led Bin even further from his hotel all because Dongmin couldn’t bear seeing <em>Is Cha Eunwoo A Homosexual?</em> trend for the nth time.</p><p>He was prioritizing his secret over someone potentially getting hurt. </p><p>He sighed to himself, but just as he was about to turn the car back on to find Bin, the younger knocked on the window. Dongmin reached over to open the door, looking up at the other questioningly. </p><p>“Couldn’t leave the parking lot, you need a key for that. I was going to climb over but—” </p><p>“Please get back in the car,” Dongmin said, voice small. “I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it.”</p><p>Bin looked surprised at the apology, then looked somewhat sad. “I genuinely didn’t mean to cause you any difficulty. I want to leave just as badly as you want me to leave.” </p><p>Dongmin nodded, swallowing harshly as he started taking off his jacket. He looked at it, neatly folded on his arms, before holding it out for the dancer to take. “We should go with your original plan.”</p><p>Bin seemed hesitant. “You sure?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Dongmin said, still wearing a sweater. He willed his eyes not to look as Bin put on the jacket, all the muscles on his stomach on display, but his eyes were not strong enough to look away. </p><p>The jacket hardly fit Bin, but Dongmin was grateful it was at least able to close. </p><p>Recollecting himself, Dongmin pointed to a door. “It leads to a staircase, which leads to the lobby.”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll meet you there.”</p><p>He couldn’t risk running into someone he knew. Though he picked this hotel for a reason, the reason being that it was quite below his budget to slim the chance of running into anyone in the same industry as him. </p><p>“No, not openly in the lobby. Once you enter the lobby, there’s a restroom on your left. We’ll meet in there.”</p><p>Bin flashed him a thumbs-up before closing the car door, gently this time, and then walked towards the door like Dongmin instructed. </p><p>Once Bin was out of sight, Dongmin let out a strained breath. </p><p>He ran a hand through his hair, and once he had fully come back to his senses, brought the car back to life and drove himself out of the building and onto the parking lot outside. </p><p>He shoved his phone in his back pocket as he got out, closing the door and locking the vehicle. He hadn’t been to this hotel in a while and though he could afford something way more expensive, it was still nice. </p><p>As he walked in, he smiled kindly at the receptionist, but that smile instantly faltered at the sight of a guard holding the front of Bin’s—no <em>his</em>—jacket. </p><p>Dongmin gasped and rushed over without thinking. "Stop!"</p><p>“He doesn’t have a room key on him. You know this punk?” asked the guard. </p><p>“Punk!?” Bin repeated, offended.</p><p>This was everything Dongmin didn’t want to do— attract attention, and about everyone in the lobby was watching the scene. He put on a cap and a mask before getting out of his car, so he prayed no one recognized him. </p><p>The actor swallowed harshly. Bin was still being manhandled and the guard would for sure throw him out of Dongmin didn’t step in, so he smiled with his eyes, showing his room key. </p><p>“Yes. Kindly release him.” The guard, and rather roughly too, did as Dongmin asked. The actor looked at his jacket on Bin’s body and winced at the crinkles the guard's hands had left. </p><p>After some muttered curse words, Bin motioned towards the bathroom with his head, then started walking towards it. Dongmin followed him, a few steps behind as to not spark any more suspicion. </p><p>He let out a breath in relief as he watched Bin enter. In that moment, he was truly convinced he could get away with this. He was going to call Bin a cab and Bin would leave without leaving an imprint on Dongmin’s reputation. </p><p>He was proven incorrect, however, when he suddenly heard someone call his name from behind him. </p><p>A shiver ran down his spine as he slowly turned around to meet the person who called him’s eyes. </p><p>Kim Mingyu was in one word, absolutely breathtaking; tall, tan and incredibly handsome. Dongmin and he had worked together on a modeling job before, as that was Mingyu’s profession, and had kept somewhat in contact ever since. </p><p>“Hey!” said Mingyu brightly. “How are you?”</p><p>Dongmin smiled awkwardly. “Hi, Mingyu. I’m well, you?”</p><p>Mingyu grinned, leaning against the wall. “Great! Haven’t seen you in a while.”</p><p>Dongmin scratched at his eyebrow. It’s not like he’d been avoiding Mingyu or anything, definitely not. He had definitely not refused offers to work with Mingyu again. </p><p>You see, Dongmin wasn’t very good a hiding his sexuality. He tried so hard, but his eyes could never stop themselves from wandering. He was always paired with men when it came to modeling gigs and the looks he would send his partners raised too much suspicion. </p><p>Because of this, he wasn’t ever surprised at the rumors, but he still hated seeing them, so he needed to minimize them as well as he could. If that meant avoiding gigs with Mingyu, then so be it. </p><p>“It <em>has</em> been long, hasn’t it?” Dongmin replied, feigning innocence. </p><p>Not realizing how long the little conversation with Mingyu lasted, he nearly jumped out of his own skin when he heard Bin’s voice behind him.</p><p>Mingyu’s interest was instantly peaked and he craned his neck to see who was behind the actor. He raised an eyebrow. “Who are you?” </p><p>Dongmin looked over his shoulder at Bin, who looked startled at the sudden question. </p><p>“Eunwoo-yah, isn’t that your jacket?” Mingyu asked, moving closer to Dongmin. If the situation wasn’t entirely fucked up, Dongmin might have blushed at the close proximity, but the situation left his face completely void of color. “Did you steal it?”</p><p>Bin’s eyes widened and then threw his hands up in exasperation. “Jesus. Do rich people just naturally assume people in sweatpants are delinquents or something?”</p><p>“So you’re admitting you’re not supposed to be here?” Mingyu asked, narrowing his eyes. He then turned to Dongmin, whispering. “Shall I call for a guard?”</p><p>“No, no!” Dongmin said immediately, a bit louder than intended. He stepped out of Mingyu’s aura. “There’s no need for that.”</p><p>Mingyu looked confused as he scanned Bin up and down. “Wait... <em>You</em> know <em>him</em>?” </p><p>Bin put his hands on his hip. “Yah! I may not look like you do, but at least I don’t poke at other people’s insecurities!”</p><p>Mingyu looked like he was this close to fighting Bin. </p><p>Dongmin felt sweat forming on his forehead as he said, “He’s—He's part of my staff!”</p><p>At this, both Bin and Mingyu froze on the spot. Dongmin could smash his head on the wall right then. </p><p>He moved to stand next to Bin. “I’m—uh—filming this thing. Which needs to look like a vlog. Sort of. And he’s my camera guy.” Though he had tons of acting experience, he sure was a bad liar.</p><p>“He’s not holding a camera,” Mingyu pointed out. “Or even a bag.”</p><p>Dongmin’s eyes widened at the realization. </p><p>This was where his life ended. He was ready to meet the Grim Reaper and accept death any second now.</p><p>“Because I left it in the hotel room upstairs, we just went out to eat,” Bin somehow managed to say, continuing Dongmin’s lie. </p><p>The actor instantly turned his head towards the dancer, eyes still wide. </p><p>“Yes!” Dongmin said then, nodding his head. He turned back to Mingyu. “Yes, we left it in the hotel room.”</p><p>“I didn’t see him when we met for 1st Look,” Mingyu said.</p><p>“He’s new,” Dongmin said quickly. “Just got hired.”</p><p>“Still need to learn more about which clothes are appropriate at what time,” Bin supplied at the previous jab at his outfit. He did look odd, Dongmin had to agree; worn-out sweatpants, dirty sneakers and Dongmin’s expensive, designer jacket. </p><p>Mingyu nodded then, and Dongmin prayed he fell for it. “Well, I’m sorry for assuming the worst then.” He then smiled at Dongmin. “How long are you staying here?”</p><p>“Just the night,” Dongmin said.</p><p>“Let’s have breakfast together,” he said, then looked at Bin. “He can come, too. Might be nice to add some friendship to the vlog, no?” </p><p>At this, both Bin and Dongmin froze.</p><p>Mingyu, clearly, wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He patted Dongmin on the arm before walking away with a “Meet you at nine!”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✰</p>
</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Dongmin swore as he slammed the door of the hotel room shut and threw his bag on the bed. </p><p>Bin stood by the door awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “So … What now?” </p><p>“Well, Bin, I don’t know! Why did you say the bag was here!?” Dongmin yelled, pulling at his hair. “We could have pretended we were leaving!”</p><p>Bin started spluttering. “What? <em>You</em> were the one saying I’m a staff member!” </p><p>“What else would you have wanted me to say!? If Mingyu wasn’t going to beat you up, then that guard would have!”</p><p>Bin scoffed. “Well, then my broken body could get picked up by a garbage truck. In fact, that guy probably thinks that’s where I belong anyway!”</p><p>Dongmin fell silent.</p><p>Bin looked like Mingyu’s words had seriously hurt him. He sighed miserably. “You know, I could still leave. You can tell him I had something else to do or something.”</p><p>Dongmin groaned behind his hands. “No. I know Mingyu. Whatever he wants, he gets. He’s expecting us there tomorrow, with some sort of camera, filming something that he wants to be in. I  don’t like it either, but I really need you to be there tomorrow.”</p><p>Bin bit the inside of his cheek. “I’m sorry I made that hotel room comment then.”</p><p>Dongmin sighed, removing his hands from his face. “No, <em>I’m</em> sorry for saying you’re a staff member and keeping you here because of it. Your sister must be worried, you should probably call her.” </p><p>“We don’t have the same phone,” Bin pointed out, “and I don’t think you have a Samsung charger on you.”</p><p>Dongmin shook his head. “You can call her from my phone if you want.”</p><p>Bin looked surprised. “Are you sure?”</p><p>Dongmin took his phone out of his pocket, unlocked it and handed it to Bin. “It’s important to let her know you’re safe, even if this situation is basically all her fault.”</p><p>Bin chuckled at that. “She’d argue it’s because I couldn’t just stay in the car. Stupid bladder.”</p><p>“Stupid bladder,” Dongmin repeated under his breath. He then walked towards the mirror, smoothing the hair he had messed up.</p><p>“Eh—Eunwoo-ssi?” Bin said, grimacing at the actor. </p><p>Dongmin raised an eyebrow, looking at the other through the mirror. </p><p>He grinned apologetically. “I keep wanting to not be a bother, but I keep being a bother.”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Um. I don’t know her number by head. Would you mind if I logged into my Instagram account and messaged her there?” </p><p>Dongmin resisted the urge to sigh. He motioned Bin to return the phone. He opened the Instagram app, tapped his username at the top of the screen, clicked ‘Add Account’ and then finally ‘Log Into Existing Account’. </p><p>He handed the phone back to Bin. </p><p>“Can’t believe that guard ruined my jacket,” Dongmin said, inspecting the state of it. </p><p>“I know, right?” Bin replied, eyes on the phone screen. “What an asshole. Calling me a punk and shit. Are these clothes <em>that</em> atrocious?”</p><p>Dongmin grimaced. “I don’t think you want an honest answer.”</p><p>Bin gave him a look over the top of the phone. “Well, it's what I’ll need to wear for breakfast tomorrow, too. Do you think they’ll throw me out of the dining hall?” </p><p>Dongmin opened his bag then. He could wear what he was currently wearing again and give Bin the outfit he brought to wear tomorrow. </p><p>It was then, as Bin handed Dongmin his phone back, that the older made a very unfortunate observation. </p><p>There was only one bed. </p><p>All the color that had left his face when he saw Mingyu came rushing back to his cheeks now. </p><p>Bin followed his line of sight, and he too, blushed furiously. </p><p>Dongmin was once again reminded of how odd this situation was. With all the boys he’d previously brought here, the bed had always felt too big. </p><p>Even though this hotel was below his budget didn’t mean that he picked a room below his budget, so the bed was very much king sized, and they could both fit with absolute ease, but it seemed too small all of a sudden. </p><p>“I’ll take the couch,” Bin offered. </p><p>Dongmin nodded, looking around them. He hadn’t ever even noticed the couch, as this hotel was never meant for relaxing or observing. It was meant to have sex, to finally feel something, and then be left alone again. Said couch, however, looked way too small for a guy as tall as Bin to lie on comfortably. </p><p>Dongmin coughed into his hand. “I don’t need that many pillows, we could probably make it comfortable for you.” </p><p>“Cool. Besides, I’ve slept in worse conditions,” Bin said, and Dongmin didn’t question that. “Could I take a shower? I'm sure I still have some dried nose blood on me.” </p><p>Dongmin cringed at the idea. “Uh—yeah, good idea.”</p><p>He didn’t want to think about Bin having to reuse his underwear, and he definitely didn’t want to think about Bin forgoing underwear altogether. </p><p>To distract himself, he plopped down on the bed and opened his phone. Though he had agreed to it, he was still somehow surprised to see Bin’s Instagram page when he opened the app. </p><p>He definitely did not mean to pry, but with Bin’s page already available before his eyes, he couldn’t help but look.</p><p>The boy’s page consisted of tons of selfies, which didn’t surprise Dongmin as this was Instagram after all, but his eyes then landed on videos that were undoubtedly dance-related.</p><p>He checked if the shower was still running, and when he heard the steady sound of water, played the most recently uploaded video.</p><p>Funnily enough, it was a cover of the song that had played in the car. </p><p>And Bin had been right, he had clearly practiced a lot. </p><p>Then suddenly, at the top of the screen, he received a notification from someone with the username moon_sua. Even if he hadn’t wanted to see it, it was right there for him to read. Besides, he told himself, he needed to make sure Bin hadn’t mentioned they were together, so he clicked on the chat. </p><p>From: moon_ko_ng</p><p>
  <em>Hey, I'm sorry again. I can't come back to our hotel because it's late and I don't have my wallet but I'm safe. My phone died so I'm borrowing someone else's phone to message you. You owe me at least 30 dinners. I’ll see you tomorrow.</em>
</p><p>From: moon_sua</p><p>
  <em>Oppa, I’m so sorry ㅠㅠ. I thought you would just get a cab but I forgot you didn’t have money on you. I’m glad you're safe and I’ll treat you to 50 meals, even! Please get to our hotel safely tomorrow. Love you~</em>
</p><p>Dongmin chuckled a bit at their banter. He didn’t have any siblings himself and it   had always been something he desperately wanted as a child. </p><p>The actor pocketed the phone, then started gathering excess pillows and throwing them towards the couch Bin would be sleeping on. Inspecting it more closely, the thing was definitely not going to fit Bin. Still, it was probably more comfortable than the floor. </p><p>After a few minutes of getting the pillows situated, Dongmin took notice of yet another issue. Because there was only one bed, there was also only one pair of sheets. Bin would have nothing to cover him. </p><p>Dongmin sighed heavily. He’d call the receptionist for an extra set of sheets once he’d taken a shower. Speaking of, why was Bin taking so long?</p><p>Dongmin checked his watch. It had been a solid fifteen minutes since Bin had locked the bathroom door and Dongmin could no longer hear the water running. </p><p>After another three minutes, he pushed himself off the bed and towards the bathroom door, putting his ear on it only to listen to the sound of Bin rummaging around.</p><p>The actor knocked twice. “Bin?” </p><p>He should have seen this coming. He should have really seen this coming, but instead it came as a big surprise when Bin opened the door, revealing his wet, naked body with just a towel around his waist. Droplets of water fell from his hair to his face, down his neck to his chest and Dongmin tried his hardest not to stare.</p><p>“Eh—You’re staring.”</p><p>And clearly failed. </p><p>Dongmin coughed into his hand. “You were taking an awfully long time.”</p><p>“I got shampoo in my eye, sorry.” </p><p>“Of course you did,” Dongmin deadpanned. </p><p>“I swear!” Bin said, and Dongmin couldn’t help the heat that rose to his cheek as Bin stepped into his space, showing off his reddened eye. “See?”</p><p>Standing so close, Dongmin could count each eyelash, each mole and each freckle on his face. The actor truly didn’t understand Bin admitting his visuals were an insecurity of his when he looked like <em>that</em>. </p><p>Frankly, in the back of his mind, he wished Bin was another one of his secret hook-ups. He found it extremely challenging not to think about Bin in certain ways, as that was what usually happened when he was alone with boys in this exact hotel room. </p><p>He was seriously deprived of male, friendly companionship.</p><p>Dongmin pushed Bin back with a finger to his shoulder. “Are you done here?” </p><p>Bin pursed his lips. “We have, unfortunately, encountered an issue.”</p><p><em>Another</em> issue, why the hell not? </p><p>Dongmin pinched the bridge of his nose. “What is it?”</p><p>“Eh—You didn’t happen to bring two sets of clean underwear?” </p><p>He definitely didn’t have another pair that weren’t the ones he’d be wearing tomorrow.</p><p>“No,” Dongmin replied, “I did not.”</p><p>“Oh.” was Bin’s answer. As if Bin knew what he was doing to Dongmin, he then ran a hand through his hair.</p><p>Dongmin promptly looked away. “I have to ask the receptionist for extra sheets, I’ll ask if they have underwear, too.”</p><p>Bin nodded thoughtfully, then shrugged. “And if not, I think I saw a convenience store down the road.”</p><p>Dongmin rolled his eyes. “And how were you gonna go there? Without it?” </p><p>Bin shrugged again. “My washing machine broke once and I didn’t have clean underwear for like three days, those 30 minutes won’t kill me.”</p><p>Dongmin pulled a face. “Let’s pray they have some downstairs then,” he said, stepping out of the bathroom and closing the door behind him. </p><p>But, because nothing ever went according to plan, Dongmin could be provided with extra sheets, but not with underwear. He threw his phone on the bed in frustration.</p><p>He couldn’t go to the store himself, too scared someone might see him, and the thought of Bin going there without wearing underwear had Dongmin’s mind reeling. </p><p>It seriously had been too long since he'd gotten laid. </p><p>A thought came to him then. He could give Bin his clean underwear and then the younger could go to the store to get some underwear for Dongmin. That way, Bin wouldn’t have to leave the room underwear-less and Dongmin wouldn’t get mobbed in a store. </p><p>He opened his bag, took out the boxers and knocked on the bathroom door again. Bin, still wearing only a towel, opened the door with a questioning look. Once he saw the boxers in Dongmin’s hand, he gasped. </p><p>“They gave you Tommy Hilfiger boxers? Woah.”</p><p>“No,” Dongmin retorted, “these are mine. You can wear them to the store.”</p><p>Bin raised an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to give them back after I’ve gotten new ones? That’s pretty gross, even to me.”</p><p>Dongmin looked at the other as if Bin had cracked a bad joke. “No, you can have them. The ones you’ll buy are then for me.”</p><p>Bin looked surprised, but not entirely on-board. “When I go back home I’ll wash them and send them back. As like a fan letter or something.”</p><p>That panicked Dongmin and he shook his head, pushing the boxers to Bin’s chest. “My staff check fan gifts first so... don’t do that. Just keep them.”</p><p>Bin didn’t seem to enjoy that very much, but eventually agreed. “I’ll be right back then.”</p><p>Dongmin nodded, closing the door and leaving Bin to dress himself. He situated himself on the bed, grabbing a pillow and putting it straight up in his lap, resting his chin on the top. </p><p>He let out a sigh. It didn’t take long for Bin to leave the bathroom, but he came out wearing only the worn-out sweatpants he had worn that day. </p><p>Dongmin looked up from the pillow.  </p><p>“Did the outfit for tomorrow have a shirt?”</p><p>It didn’t. The outfit he had planned for the next day involved a blue button-up and beige slacks. </p><p>His next move was entirely not calculated— he reached for the ends of his sweater and pulled it over his head. </p><p>Though it still didn’t match Bin’s sweatpants well, it would look better than the button-up. What he hadn’t realized, however, was that he had no shirt on underneath, leaving both of their chests exposed. </p><p>Dongmin got up from the bed, and he tried not to notice it, but he very clearly felt Bin’s eyes on him. </p><p>Standing in front of the other, Dongmin reached for Bin’s hand to place the sweater in. “You can wear this, I’m gonna change into my pajamas.” </p><p>Bin swallowed hard. “Okay.” As he shrugged on the clothing article he said, “Think we need some socks, too.”</p><p>Dongmin nodded, rummaging through his bag for his pajamas. “Yeah, just get whatever.” But Bin didn’t move, he just stood there in the corner of Dongmin’s sight of vision. Dongmin then looked over his shoulder. “What?”</p><p>Bin scratched at his eyebrow. “I don’t have any money on me, remember?”</p><p>No, actually, Dongmin forgot about that. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet, pulled out 50000 won and held the money up for Bin to take.</p><p>Bin frowned. “They’re not gonna have designer boxers there.”</p><p>Dongmin gave him an unimpressed look. “Aren’t you hungry?”</p><p>“I’m always hungry.”</p><p>“Well, good, ‘cause I’m starving,” Dongmin said, waving the money so Bin would take it. “You can buy some snacks.”</p><p>Bin hesitantly took the money. “What do you like?”</p><p>Dongmin shrugged, laying the pajamas neatly on the bed. “Anything, really.”</p><p>“Cool,” Bin said, shoving his bare feet into his sneakers. “I only ever buy the cheapest options.” </p><p>Never had those words ever left Dongmin’s mouth even if he truly wasn’t picky. “That’s fine,” he said, watching Bin pocket the money. </p><p>Though the boy was ready to go, Dongmin felt a bit nervous. He didn’t have a phone on him, and what if something happened? What if he ran into Mingyu again? What if he had issues getting back into the hotel? <em>What if he got run over?</em> Being close to midnight, it was very much dark outside. </p><p>But Bin, as if he sensed Dongmin’s worry, said, “I’ll be careful. In fact, I’ll stay as far away from doors as I possibly can.”</p><p>Dongmin chuckled. “Good. Now hurry up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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  <p>✰</p>
</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was with his head under the shower’s stream when he realized he was feeling something he hadn’t ever felt in years; missing someone. He was so stripped of friendly communication that the second it was over, his body craved for more.</p><p>He was always home-schooled. His parents made it known from a very young age that Dongmin had the potential of becoming someone big, someone famous, and made sure he tried everything to get there. He'd been acting since the age of eight and started modeling two years prior. At that time, he had a private academic tutor, acting coach and piano teacher. </p><p>Never had he had time for friends. </p><p>Once he was the age of a high-school freshman, his tutor changed from an older woman to a guy ten years older than him, who had become what Dongmin considered a friend. Coincidentally, he had also been Dongmin’s homosexual awakening. His parents were under the impression that Dongmin was incredibly serious about his education, but in reality, he just didn’t want Kim Kwon to leave his house. </p><p>Every time Kwon would go home, Dongmin couldn’t wait for his return the next day. Though he was his tutor and his senior by ten years, Dongmin felt like he could talk comfortably with the college student. </p><p>Dongmin had no outlet, he couldn’t talk about his interests with his parents if they didn’t match the idea they had of him. But Dongmin liked to sing, and Kwon wanted to listen. He joked around with Kwon, laughed with him and inevitably, fell in love with him. </p><p>He thought it wasn’t obvious, but it had apparently been very obvious to his parents. So not only were they incredibly angered to know Kwon had indulged Dongmin’s singing, they could tell their son had grown too fond of his tutor. </p><p>So from one day to another, Kwon was permanently removed from his life, and that was the last time he’d had a true friend. </p><p>Though he’d known Bin for less than five hours, he enjoyed his company. It was the first spontaneous encounter he’d had in years; an encounter that wasn’t scheduled, wasn’t planned and definitely wasn’t gonna benefit his career. But he was enjoying it. He felt a sense of freedom despite knowing the consequences of Bin getting seen with him. </p><p>For once, he truly <em>felt</em> something. He would only ever get the attention he wanted with his hook-ups, who he would then pay ridiculous amounts of money not to keep their mouths shut. Even though he hadn’t known Bin for long, Dongmin didn’t think he would have to offer him money to keep quiet. </p><p>Instead, he gave him money to buy them <em>snacks</em>. </p><p>Dongmin grinned to himself. He was going to make the most out of his time with Bin. </p><p>The most out of feeling <em>normal</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bin knocked on the hotel room door an hour and a half after he left, which to Dongmin was way longer than it should have taken. Any longer and he would have risked it all to check if the younger was still alive. </p><p>“You took awfully long,” Dongmin commented as Bin opened the bag on the bed, spreading various bags of snacks on the sheets. He instantly spotted the pack of underwear and was thankful Bin didn’t forget about them. He was standing in the middle of their hotel room with only a towel around his waist.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. I—eh—tend to get distracted,” he mumbled as he opened a bag of chips. “But now I know the employee there is very friendly.” </p><p>“So you just,” Dongmin frowned, “spent an hour chatting?”</p><p>Bin stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth. “Genuinely thought it was five minutes. I don’t have great concept of time, sorry. Did I get anything you like?”</p><p>Dongmin, to be frank, had never seen any of the snacks Bin had brought. Firstly, his parents hardly allowed him to have snacks and secondly, when he <em>was</em> allowed snacks, he suspected his staff members always bought expensive options. </p><p>Dongmin just nodded, reaching for the pack of underwear. “What did you talk about?”</p><p>Bin looked up from the bag of chips, mouth full. “Hm?”</p><p>“With the employee,” Dongmin clarified, ripping the cardboard and taking out one of the three boxers. </p><p>Bin beamed a little, swallowing down the snack before speaking. “Dance, actually! This song I really like started playing and I noticed the cashier dancing and I’m familiar with the choreo, too.”</p><p>Dongmin nodded, finding his lips wanting to curl upwards at Bin’s enthusiasm. “What song?”</p><p>“NCT’s Kick It,” Bin said. Dongmin took note of Bin’s clumsy English pronunciation, grinning.</p><p>The actor got up from the bed, boxers in hand. “Gonna put these on.”</p><p>“‘Kay,” Bin said with a nod and a full mouth.</p><p>Cute.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. THREE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
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</div><p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dongmin was wide awake. Which, honestly, was quite ironic.</p>
<p>Here he was, all alone and comfortable in a king-sized bed unable to sleep while the dancer lay on a tiny, uncomfortable couch dead asleep. </p>
<p>Dongmin sighed heavily, the hair on his forehead flying up. He rolled onto his side and reached for his phone. No notifications from anyone he knew, just those of comments on how handsome he looked on his most recent Instagram post.</p>
<p>Opening said app, he was once again met with Bin’s page. </p>
<p>Did he mean to stalk? No. But Bin’s page was not a private one, so even if he had no access to Bin’s actual account, he could still look up his username and also see his posts.</p>
<p>At least, that’s what Dongmin told himself. </p>
<p>Bin said he was familiar with the ‘Kick It’ choreography and because Dongmin didn’t know it, wanted to see if Bin had done a cover of it. He found it soon enough, and holy hell, was Dongmin intrigued. </p>
<p>‘Wannabe’ had been a girl group choreography cover, which had been nice, but Dongmin was not prepared for a boy group one. The move with his arms above his head and fingers circling had Dongmin’s eyes glued to the screen.</p>
<p>“Is that the song?”</p>
<p>Dongmin flailed in surprise and dropped the phone on the floor. </p>
<p>“Huh?” Dongmin asked, pretending not to have heard.</p>
<p>“Kick it,” Bin said, “were you listening to it?”</p>
<p>Frankly, Dongmin hadn’t heard a single part of the song, only focused on Bin and his movements. </p>
<p>“Oh, yeah. Great song,” he lied. </p>
<p>“Right?” Bin said. “I did a cover of it.”</p>
<p>Dongmin feigned surprise. “Did you now?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I upload them to YouTube sometimes,” he said. “If they’re good, at least.”</p>
<p>“Well you should upload this one, it’s good.” As soon as the words left his mouth, his eyes widened. </p>
<p>Bin fell silent. “You ... watched it?”</p>
<p>Dongmin wanted to smash his head into his pillow. “I didn’t mean to. You were still logged in and I stumbled upon it.” That was half-true, sort of. He hoped Bin wouldn’t question it.</p>
<p>“Oh, no, it’s fine!” Bin replied and Dongmin could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m proud of what I do, I don’t mind you watching it!”</p>
<p>Dongmin felt himself blushing. “Oh. Okay.”</p>
<p>And then it was silent for a few minutes. Dongmin’s phone was still on the floor and he didn’t feel like picking up it. He didn’t want Bin to see his reactions to his videos. </p>
<p>Then Bin spoke up. “Why are you awake?”</p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p>Bin snorted. “Do you lose your hearing at night? I asked why you’re awake.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Dongmin said as he sat up. He reached beside him for the night lamp, turning it on. “I’m not sure.”</p>
<p>He looked at Bin on the other side of the room. The younger’s hair was a mess and the blanket fell down his naked chest as he sat up. Dongmin insisted Bin wear his sweater to bed, but the dancer refused. </p>
<p>“Do you want to talk?”</p>
<p>Dongmin frowned. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>Bin ran a hand through his hair. “Whenever I can’t sleep, Sua and I talk until I get tired.” </p>
<p>“Oh,” said Dongmin, nodding his head. That made sense. “Sua seems nice.”</p>
<p>“She is,” Bin said, a smile forming on his face. “Do you have siblings?”</p>
<p>“No,” Dongmin said with a shake of his head. “I’ve always wanted some, though.”</p>
<p>“Well, they <em>can</em> be annoying,” Bin said seriously. “Like, they might drive off without you.”</p>
<p>That got a laugh out of Dongmin. “I’ll make sure to always stay in the car.”</p>
<p>“Sua would appreciate that.”</p>
<p>“Speaking of,” Dongmin started darlingly, “you said she was at the fanmeeting. So she’s a fan?”</p>
<p>Bin, slowly, clapped three times. “Wow, you just figured out why it’s called a fanmeeting.”</p>
<p>Dongmin rolled his eyes playfully. “Ha-ha. You’re hysterical.”</p>
<p>Bin put his hands on his chest. “Why thank you, Eunwoo-ssi. Means a lot coming from you.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Dongmin asked. “Are you also a fan?”</p>
<p>Bin grinned awkwardly. “Eh—no, sorry. Nothing personal, though. I just don’t watch dramas at all.” </p>
<p>Somehow, this relieved Dongmin. “Then what do you watch?”</p>
<p>Bin shrugged. “Not much, I spend most of my time dancing, really.”</p>
<p>Dongmin reached behind him to situate his pillows against the headboard. “Do you not have a job?”</p>
<p>“No, I do,” Bin explained, “it also involves dance, so. Dance is my life, really.”</p>
<p>Being so passionate and happy with something you do, Dongmin could not relate to. Though he didn’t dislike acting, it wasn’t <em>his life</em>, as Bin had phrased it. But it was the life that was planned out for him and the life he had to live as long as he physically could. </p>
<p>“That’s very admirable,” Dongmin said, leaning back against the pillows and resting his hands on the sheets. “You’re genuinely really good.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Bin said. “Do you dance?”</p>
<p>Dongmin looked horrified at the suggestion. “No, no. I’m a very bad dancer.”</p>
<p>Bin seemed to doubt that. “Have you ever danced before?” Thinking it over, Dongmin couldn’t remember the last time he danced. “From that pause, I’m gonna guess that you haven’t. I bet you could dance.”</p>
<p>Even if he had wanted to, he was never allowed. He was always told to sit still and look pretty. “No.”</p>
<p>Bin rolled his eyes. “Everyone can dance.”</p>
<p>“Says who?”</p>
<p>“Me. You should <em>really</em> get your ears checked.”</p>
<p>“Yah!” Dongmin said, throwing a random pillow on his bed towards the younger. </p>
<p>Bin laughed as he easily caught it. “This is mine now.”</p>
<p>Dongmin watched as the boy put it under his neck. </p>
<p>“Is the couch very uncomfortable?”</p>
<p>“It’s fine.”</p>
<p>The actor didn’t believe that at all. </p>
<p>“You can be honest, you know?”</p>
<p>Bin pursed his lips. “Like you, it doesn’t have functioning hearing. If I say it’s back-breakingly painful, it’s not suddenly gonna be comfortable.” </p>
<p>“That’s true, but doesn’t it feel nice to complain?” </p>
<p>Bin chuckled. “Is that your life motto?”</p>
<p>“Complaining?” Dongmin put two fingers under his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “Perhaps it is.”</p>
<p>Bin changed his position. “Do you feel more sleepy now?”</p>
<p>He could see how talking might work if you already know everything about the other person. But as he liked to know more about Bin, his mind willed him to stay up even longer. </p>
<p>Dongmin shook his head. “I think this had the opposite effect.”</p>
<p>Bin hummed. “I have more tips. If you want.”</p>
<p>If Dongmin knew what was coming, he should have said no. Instead, he said yes.</p>
<p>“I don’t know how desperate you are to sleep, but I bet it’s pretty late already,” Bin said sheepishly. “Did your mother also stroke your hair when you were younger?” </p>
<p>No. It was no surprise to Dongmin when google told him he was affection-deprived when he googled his frustrations once. He couldn’t remember the last time his mother had hugged him. </p>
<p>“No,” he answered honestly. Hearing Bin ask him how desperate he was to sleep, Dongmin had to admit he was pretty desperate. When he was watching Bin’s dance cover it had already been 3 AM and they needed to be up, clothed and in the breakfast hall at 9.</p>
<p>“It’s really relaxing,” Bin said softly. “You could do it to yourself, too.”</p>
<p>“Do you ever do it to yourself?”</p>
<p>“Eh—no.”</p>
<p>“Then how do you know?”</p>
<p>Dongmin watched Bin’s cheeks redden. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>The actor frowned. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I was gonna offer doing it to you,” he said slowly. “I know it’s been a long day for you and you should really get some sleep but I—”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Dongmin said, cutting him off. He swallowed hard. “I want you to do it.” </p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Dongmin said earnestly. Though he’d never experienced the sensation of his hair being stroked, he enjoyed the idea of it. </p>
<p>Bin looked at him, unmoving. </p>
<p>Dongmin looked around. “How do we…”</p>
<p>“I’ll sit next to you,” Bin suggested, “once you’re asleep, I’ll go back to the couch.”</p>
<p>Dongmin shook his head. “That couch is a nightmare, I can see it on your face.”</p>
<p>Bin looked surprised at the implication. “But—”</p>
<p>“The bed is really big,” Dongmin said as he moved closer to the edge. “We could both easily fit.”</p>
<p> Bin looked pained. “I really don’t want to impose.” </p>
<p>“You’re not,” Dongmin insisted. “You’re looking out for my sleeping hours, I’m looking out for your back. We’re even.”</p>
<p>This seemed to wash away Bin’s worries. “Okay.”  </p>
<p>He got up from the couch, bare feet on the cold floor, and threw the sheets over his shoulder. He held the pillows between his arms and his chest as he padded over while Dongmin moved everything over to the left side of the bed, leaving the right side empty for Bin to dump his stuff.</p>
<p>The younger put the sheets down before getting on the bed and placing the pillow below his head. </p>
<p>Dongmin turned towards him, cheek resting on his hand. He watched as Bin turned towards him too, and it was then that he realized how intimate this really was. </p>
<p>He had never lain like this with anyone before. The bed was only ever used to fool around on, not to sleep together on. His hook-ups would always leave right after the deed was done. </p>
<p>Bin scooted a bit closer. “Is this okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Dongmin said under his breath. </p>
<p>Bin lifted his arm then, and Dongmin watched as his hand inched closer and closer to his head before it carefully landed above his ear. He felt Bin’s fingers move the hair behind it— warm and comforting as he softly played with the hair there. </p>
<p>“It usually feels better to have your head scratched, too,” Bin said in a whisper, “but I bite my nails and hardly have nails to scratch.”</p>
<p>“It feels good regardless,” Dongmin said, watching Bin smile softly at him. “You said your mom used to do this?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Bin said, and he sounded sad. “I can’t really sleep unless I’m really tired, but I would fall asleep instantly when she did this.”</p>
<p>“Do you still live at home?”</p>
<p>“No,” Bin said and Dongmin watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed. “My parents passed away five years ago.”</p>
<p>Dongmin let out a small gasp, then looked at Bin with regretful eyes. “I’m sorry for asking.”</p>
<p>Bin shook his head. “I’m fine with questions. And I still have Sua.”</p>
<p>A new, comfortable silence washed over them so Dongmin could truly focus on the feeling of Bin’s fingers in his hair. The domestic feeling of it all made him feel tingly and he didn’t want it to ever end. </p>
<p>He very well knew, once Bin left tomorrow, the actor would never have a moment like this again.</p>
<p>Though he wanted it to last forever, his body visibly relaxed at Bin’s touch to the point where he felt the familiar tug to close his eyes and let sleep cover him like a blanket. He fought it to the best of his abilities.</p>
<p>He bit the inside of his cheek. “You said you can only sleep when you’re really tired, right? </p>
<p>Bin hummed.</p>
<p>“How often is that?”</p>
<p>“Quite often these days,” Bin replied. “I practice a lot, usually late at night, and then I get home barely alive,” he added with a laugh.</p>
<p>Dongmin didn’t think that was the most healthy way of acquiring sleep but decided not to comment on it. “Do your friends also dance?”</p>
<p>“Definitely,” Bin said, the question getting a smile out of him. “Minhyuk, my roommate, and I run the YouTube channel together. A close hyung of mine often joins, too.”</p>
<p>Dongmin did remember seeing other guys on Bin's Instagram page. “That’s so nice.”</p>
<p>“What about your friends?” Dongmin closed his eyes and sighed. He should have never brought up the topic of friends. “Mingyu seems…”</p>
<p>“He’s not really a friend,” Dongmin admitted. “We worked together once.”</p>
<p>“Oh, he seemed to like you quite a bit.” Even if he did, Dongmin didn’t want to be around him. The number of rumors that arose from the shoot was enough of a reason to stay as far away from Mingyu as possible. </p>
<p>“He’s more like a colleague. Kind of.”</p>
<p>“Ah,” Bin said in acknowledgment. </p>
<p>Another silence occurred, and Dongmin was grateful for it. Though he wanted to hear Bin’s voice for as long as possible, he didn’t want to admit he had no friends. He was supposed to be an example of a perfect human to the general public; beautiful, smart and successful.</p>
<p>In reality, he was everything but perfect.</p>
<p>When he landed his first modeling gig, his parents had sat him down on the couch before they had to leave. </p>
<p>“Dongmin,” his mother had said. “When we get there, you will be referred to as Cha Eunwoo.”</p>
<p>“Why?” asked his six-year-old self.</p>
<p>“It fits you better.” Despite his young age, he could easily read between the lines. His parents considered Dongmin too ugly of a name for a handsome face like his. It was a clear indication of his parents no longer considering him his own person, but an object of success. </p>
<p>But he hadn’t ever wanted success. He wanted to be normal. He wanted to be normal so badly— he wanted to be able to live life as he wanted to live it. </p>
<p>He wanted to live as <em>Dongmin</em>, but he knew he would never be able to.</p>
<p>“Eunwoo-ssi,” Bin said, and Dongmin opened his eyes to see Bin giving him a sad look. “Why are you crying?”</p>
<p>He hadn’t noticed the tear that had slipped from his eye. The hand that was previously in his hair now lay gently on his cheek, carefully wiping the wetness away.</p>
<p>He hadn’t ever asked anyone before, not even Kwon, and it had been years since he last heard it, but he wanted to hear it now. </p>
<p>He <em>needed</em> to hear it. </p>
<p>“Lee Dongmin.”</p>
<p>Bin titled his head in confusion. </p>
<p>“My name is Dongmin,” he said, anxiety clear in his voice. “Could you—Could you please call me that? Just for now?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Bin said, not questioning it. “Dongmin-ah, don’t cry.”</p>
<p>But despite Bin’s words, another tear left Dongmin’s eye.</p>
<p>He'd never felt happier than he did in that moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>

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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. FOUR</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dongmin awoke to the sound of the alarm he had set, but forgot he dropped his phone the night before.</p><p>What he didn’t forget, however, was that Bin was in bed with him. Unlike what he saw in dramas, and unlike what <em>he</em> had to do in his own dramas, they did not wake up in each other’s arms. </p><p>Instead, Bin was curled in on himself like a cat, his back facing Dongmin, the sound of the alarm clearly not phasing him at all.</p><p>The actor stretched, rubbed at his eyes and then got out in search of his phone. </p><p>“Tur' it off,” he heard from the bed.</p><p>“I can’t find it.”</p><p>Bin sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his head as he yawned. “Jus' follow the sound.”</p><p>“Oh, so I only have good hearing when it benefits you?” Dongmin joked, grinning at the younger.</p><p>Bin stuck out his tongue, then laid back down. </p><p>“No, no, no,” Dongmin said from the floor, “come help me.”</p><p>Bin pointed to the floor beside his side of the bed. “Seems to come from around here.”</p><p>Dongmin got back up on his feet, walking to Bin’s side of the bed and crouching down. Bin turned his head on the pillow to face Dongmin, one eye closed. Speaking of eyes, they were on the same level now and Dongmin found it extremely hard not to lean forward and do something he definitely shouldn’t do.</p><p>“What time is it?” Bin asked once Dongmin found his phone and turned off his alarm.</p><p>“7:34,” Dongmin said after checking.</p><p>Bin groaned, curling into himself in the sheets. “Why did you set it so early?”</p><p>Dongmin walked over to his bag, taking out his make-up bag. “Shower. Skincare routine. Make-up.”</p><p>Bin huffed. “You don’t need that.”</p><p>Dongmin grinned. “A shower?”</p><p>“Ha-ha,” Bin deadpanned. “You know I meant the latter two.” He smushed his face back into the pillow. “Now go so I can sleep a little longer.”</p><p>“Don’t you want to shower, too?”</p><p>“I’ll shower at my own hotel later,” Bin replied sleepily.</p><p>Those words shook Dongmin from his own thoughts. Last night, it felt like he lived in a bubble in which all was well. But hardly anything was great in the real world. He would have to face Mingyu in less than an hour and a half and then watch Bin leave his life. </p><p>Then suddenly, Bin made a realization. “We don’t have a camera.”</p><p>Dongmin froze. A camera was definitely an item of necessity in their lie and they only now realized they didn't have one. </p><p>“We could just use your phone?” Bin suggested. </p><p>Dongmin scratched his eyebrow in contemplation. “Yeah, I guess it’ll have to do.”</p><p>“I mean,” Bin supplied, “we said it had to look casual, right? Like a vlog, kinda.”</p><p>The actor pursed his lips. “This might come off <em>too</em> casual to Mingyu.”</p><p>“Why? Are you usually really high-maintenance or something?”</p><p>Dongmin gave him a look.</p><p>Bin raised his hands in surrender and laughed. “Just asking.”</p><p>Dongmin plucked his phone from the charger, then moved to stand next to Bin. “Obviously, you’ll have to be the one filming. Do you know how to film on an iPhone?”</p><p>Bin shoved Dongmin’s arms. “I’m no fool.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>In the elevator, Dongmin watched Bin smooth down the sweater—Dongmin’s sweater—from the corner of his eye. Bin’s bloodied sweater was still in his car and he made a mental note not to forget about it. </p><p>“Anything I shouldn’t mention?” Bin asked, turning to the older.</p><p>“Just try not to stand out, you're the camera-guy after all. Let me do most of the talking,” Dongmin advised. “And I saw your age on your uni ID, we can speak comfortably. Mingyu is the same age as us.”</p><p>“Eunwoo-yah, then?” Bin asked. A deep sense of sadness washed over Dongmin at the sound of his professional name, but he knew he couldn’t be addressed as Dongmin in public, or just in general, ever. </p><p>“Bin-ah,” Dongmin said in confirmation. </p><p>Bin held up a fist. “We got this.” </p><p>Dongmin wasn’t entirely convinced, but he still bumped Bin’s fist. “We got this.”</p><p>But that couldn’t be further from reality. Turned out, Bin could hardly hold the phone up longer than two minutes. In addition to that, it seemed that Bin had a habit of bouncing his leg for minutes on end, and when Dongmin whispered for the other to stop when Mingyu got up for more food, Bin said he couldn’t. </p><p>“What? Just hold your leg still, please.”</p><p>Bin looked at Dongmin seriously. “I’m sorry. I truly want to stop, but I—eh—need it.”</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>Bin looked at his plate. “I can’t focus otherwise.”</p><p>Ironic how it helped Bin focus while it did everything <em>but</em> help Dongmin focus on his conversations with Mingyu. </p><p>And then Dongmin’s hand was on Bin’s knee, which instantly stilled the leg, but Bin quickly took it off.</p><p>“That won’t help me focus any better,” the younger said, cheeks pink. “I’ll try to stop it.”</p><p>At the sight of Mingyu approaching them, Bin held up the phone again. Dongmin prayed it wasn’t accidentally on selfie mode, as Bin seemed to not care about even <em>trying</em> to look somewhat like a professional camera guy. </p><p>Dongmin noticed Bin somehow did manage to keep his leg still, but instead, he was playing with the inside of his cheek between his teeth. </p><p>Mingyu returned with a large plate of breakfast goods, and with a mouth full of sausage he said, “You are eating so little. You okay?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah,” replied Dongmin nonchalantly. “I have somewhere to be later and don’t want to feel bloated.” Blatant lie. He had nowhere to be today, he just wanted this breakfast meal to be over as soon as possible. </p><p>Mingyu hummed around his spoon, then began talking about stuff Dongmin was entirely not interested in. So, instead of listening, Dongmin just watched him talk. </p><p>Mingyu was, in every sense of the word, perfect. He was tall, tan and funny, among other things. His actual camera crew never understood why he hadn’t wanted to continue working with Mingyu, but how could he if he <em>knew</em> what he looked like staring at Mingyu.</p><p>In fact, he should probably stop doing that right now. </p><p>He looked to his left at Bin, who gave Dongmin a curious look. The actor cleared his throat, then laughed at whatever Mingyu said and fell back into conversation with him. </p><p>Everything seemed normal for a few minutes and he had almost forgotten Bin was sitting next to them until the younger suddenly spoke up. </p><p>“I’m gonna get some more,” he said. He had laid the phone face down on the table.</p><p>“But you’re working,” Mingyu said, affronted.</p><p>“Yes, and my stomach is also <em>working</em>,” Bin replied, pushing his chair back with his feet and sent Dongmin a look the older couldn’t read. Did he piss Bin off that bad? Dongmin watched as the younger picked up his plate and walked towards the buffet.</p><p>He sighed sadly at the idea of having hurt Bin’s feelings. </p><p>Mingyu seemed to also be watching Bin. “Why did you hire him?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“He seems like a total idiot,” Mingyu said. “And he kept bouncing his leg like a hyperactive twelve-year-old. So why hire him?”</p><p>Dongmin bit a piece of egg from his chopsticks. “I wasn’t the one to hire him.”</p><p>Mingyu was still looking at Bin. “Surely your parents didn’t approve of him. Does he require no payment or something?”</p><p>Dongmin sighed, feeling a headache form. “I wouldn’t know, Mingyu-ah. My parents handle that stuff and they did, in fact, approve of him. He would not be here if they didn’t.”</p><p>“Are you sure? Did they do a background check? I can request one for you if you want.”</p><p>“No, Mingyu. There’s no need.” Dongmin said, sterner this time. </p><p>Mingyu shrugged, chewing on his food. “He seems sketchy.”</p><p>Dongmin looked over at where Bin was waiting for an omelet to be made for him. He was the only one in line that was not standing still, and Dongmin then remembered Bin was always doing something with his hands and feet as if he did really need it to function. He was talking to the girl standing behind him in line and Dongmin thought he looked so cute, even if he was just conversation. He thought everything about Bin was cute.</p><p>Maybe Dongmin shouldn’t have been so hard on him minutes ago. </p><p>“Also, aren’t those your clothes?”</p><p>Dongmin nearly choked on his orange juice. Mingyu raised a brow as Dongmin fished for the napkin below his cutlery and wiped his face clean. </p><p>“Because I think I’ve seen you wear that blouse before,” Mingyu continued. “And it seems to not fit him too well.”</p><p>Dongmin recollected himself. “You’re not wrong, it is mine. I spilled something on Bin’s own shirt this morning so I lent him mine. That’s also why I’m wearing the same sweater I wore yesterday.” Dongmin added that last bit to avoid questions about that, too.</p><p>Mingyu hummed, seemingly buying it. </p><p>Bin returned to the table then, a large omelet on his plate. Dongmin watched as the younger cut the thing in half, then proceeded to shove the entire half into his mouth at once.</p><p>Dongmin closed his eyes, willing himself not to get frustrated. Bin was supposed to come off as laid-back, an unnoticeable shadow, but instead he’d become the center of attention. </p><p>Mingyu looked at the dancer in horror. “Why would you do that?”</p><p>“Hm?” Bin asked, cheeks filled like a chipmunk.</p><p>“Shove it into your mouth at once?”</p><p>“Why not?” Bin asked while chewing.</p><p>Mingyu looked away in disgust.</p><p>“Are you almost done eating?” Dongmin asked Bin as the younger shoved the other half of the omelet in his mouth. “We should go soon, don’t want to be late.”</p><p>“I should go soon, too,” Mingyu said, trying his best to look away from the younger. “Where are you headed?”</p><p>“Eh—just home,” Dongmin replied quickly. “I have some things to go over with my parents.”</p><p>Mingyu nodded. “And parents don’t like to be kept waiting.” And, Dongmin guessed, in an attempt to make conversation, Mingyu added, “Right, Bin-ssi?”</p><p>Bin instantly froze, pieces of egg still hanging out of his mouth. He swallowed harshly then, and those pieces fell back on his plate. “Right,” Bin replied stiffly. He then pushed his plate forward a little, and Dongmin bet that question must have washed away all of his hunger.</p><p>The younger then turned to Dongmin. “I’m ready to go.” </p><p>Dongmin got up from his seat first, then rounded the table to embrace Mingyu in a quick, friendly hug. </p><p>“We should hang out more,” Mingyu suggested, smiling. “Maybe I can bring Myungho along, too. Remember him? He’s my camera guy.”</p><p>Dongmin did not remember, but nodded anyway.</p><p>“He’s also still looking for more gigs,” Mingyu said then, quieter. “If you ever want a <em>good</em> camera guy.”</p><p>Dongmin just smiled. “I’ll keep it in mind. I’ll see you around, Mingyu-ah.”</p><p>“Yeah, totally.” He then turned to Bin. “Bin-ssi.”</p><p>“Mingyu-ssi.”</p><p>And then Bin started walking out of the dining hall and Dongmin quickly followed him. Why was Bin acting like that? Did he <em>want</em> Mingyu to doubt him?</p><p>Bin stepped into the elevator and Dongmin followed suit, pressing the button to their floor.</p><p>When the doors closed, he turned to Bin. “What the hell, Bin?”</p><p>Bin looked away.</p><p>Dongmin couldn’t hold himself together anymore. “Yah! Answer me! Why did you act like that?” </p><p>And then something in Bin seemed to explode. </p><p>"Like what? Like myself?" Bin said hotly, glaring at Dongmin. “Now Mingyu won’t be surprised if you fire me. That way, my name will never come up in conversations in the future and you’re saved from all things Moon Bin. I did it for <em>you</em>, Cha Eunwoo.” </p><p>Dongmin fell silent. Thinking about it, that made a lot of sense. In fact, Mingyu even <em>suggested</em> Dongmin rid himself of Bin. </p><p>His plan worked out perfectly. Mingyu called Bin an idiot, but the dancer was a mastermind. </p><p>Dongmin wanted to kick himself. “Bin-ah, I—”</p><p>“Save it,” Bin said, holding up a hand. “I want to go to Sua. Call me a cab.”</p><p>The elevator doors opened and Bin stormed towards the room. The younger, however, didn’t have the key. He waited for Dongmin to open it, but the older wouldn’t. </p><p>“Bin-ah, I’m sorry,” Dongmin tried. “I had no idea you had a plan. Please try and see it from my perspective. You were annoying Mingyu.”</p><p>The laugh Bin let out was bitter. “Can you open the door?”</p><p>Dongmin bit his lip nervously. “Are you angry?”</p><p>Bin sighed, rubbing his face. “I just—I just I want to go home.”</p><p>Dongmin opened the door and watched Bin immediately stride inside. </p><p>“Suddenly?” he asked as he closed the door behind them. </p><p>“No, Eunwoo, not all of a sudden,” Bin replied irritably, “can’t you see that you’ve dictated how I’ve spent all these hours? <em>You</em> decided to take me to this hotel instead of my own because I couldn’t be seen with you. <em>You</em> decided to bring me inside. Then we ran into Mingyu and then <em>you</em> decided to tell a lie that bound me here overnight. You made me <em>lie</em> to my sister, Eunwoo. And now, I would like to leave.”</p><p>Dongmin hadn’t looked at it like this. In his daily life, he had people who made decisions for him and those decisions were made to benefit him in one way or another. He hardly had to make decisions on his own, and now when he had to, he'd used Bin as a pawn in all of his lies. </p><p>Dongmin felt like he could cry. </p><p>This felt like Kwon all over again, but different. Instead of Bin being ripped from him by an external factor, Bin was ripping himself from Dongmin.</p><p>“Bin-ah,” Dongmin said sadly. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Why did you take me to your hotel, anyways? I still don’t get it.”</p><p>Dongmin rubbed at his face. “They would have taken pictures of us.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>Dongmin’s eyebrow’s skyrocketed. “‘So?’” He repeated hotly. “They wouldn’t have left you, nor I, alone.”</p><p>“I really don’t see the problem. I would have just told them the truth.”</p><p>“But they don’t take the truth, Bin!” Dongmin replied. “They twist and turn it into something it’s not!”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘something it’s not’? Do you ram doors into people’s faces often? How do you know what would happen?”</p><p>“I just know, okay?”</p><p>It was silent for a few seconds, but then Bin’s eyes widened, like something finally clicked. “Oh. <em>Oh</em>.”</p><p>Dongmin swallowed hard. “What?”</p><p>“Wait,” Bin said, holding up a hand and looking very much in thought.</p><p>Dongmin felt sweat forming on his forehead. He did not enjoy Bin’s deep-in-thought face, but then the younger looked straight at Dongmin. “Wait... You like—”</p><p>Dongmin instantly rushed forward, closing his hand over Bin’s mouth. “<em>Don’t</em> say it.”</p><p>Bin reached up to remove Dongmin’s hand slowly. “I’m right, then?”</p><p>Dongmin was heavy-breathing and thought he might faint if the conversation continued. He made such a huge mistake. He’d gotten too close and now Bin knew. Was he gonna sell the information to the press? Was he gonna out him on social media? Was he going to judge him? Was he disgusted? Would he get violent? Did he regret meeting Dongmin?</p><p>He was full-on panicking. </p><p>“Eunwoo, calm down.” Dongmin felt Bin’s arms on his shoulders. “It’s okay.”</p><p>“No, it’s not!” Dongmin yelled, stepping back.</p><p>“Yes, it is,” Bin insisted. He then lay a hand on his own heart. “Eunwoo, me too.”</p><p>Dongmin froze. “What do you— You? I’m—No—That can’t—What?”</p><p>Bin stepped forward again, then wrapped his arms around Dongmin’s waist. The older couldn’t move, he still stood frozen as Bin leaned his chin on his shoulder and embraced him. “Eunwoo-yah,” Bin said quietly. “You’re okay. It’s okay.”</p><p>And then Dongmin burst out in tears. </p><p>“Shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. Shhh,” Bin said gently, cupping the back of Dongmin’s head and running his hand through the actor’s dark hair. </p><p>“<em>Bin-ah</em>,” Dongmin sobbed, winding his arms around Bin’s shoulders. He hadn't ever said it out loud. He still hadn’t said it out loud, but it was out in the open now. </p><p>He could have easily denied it, but he felt he didn’t want to. He wasn’t going to ever see Bin again after today and right now, he needed someone to tell him he wasn’t selfish— that it was okay to be who he was. </p><p>“I’m here,” Bin said, continuing to stroke his hair. “I’m here. It’s okay. Shhh. You don’t need to cry.”</p><p>Dongmin didn’t know what Bin might be thinking. All he now knew was that Bin was the same as he was, Bin also liked guys. Dongmin wondered how he went about that. Did Bin’s friends know? Did his family know? Was he openly gay? Did he have a <em>boyfriend</em>?</p><p>Dongmin slowly pulled back until he was able to look Bin in the eyes. </p><p>Bin removed his hand from behind Dongmin’s head to wipe softly at the older’s wet cheeks. “Hey now, why are you crying?”</p><p>“I’ve never told anyone,” Dongmin sniffled. The guys he had hooked up with obviously assumed, and he had paid them to keep their mouths shut. He’d never been directly confronted about it like this. </p><p>Bin chuckled. “You didn’t really tell me.” He wiped a new tear from Dongmin’s cheek. “Have you ever said it out loud?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Maybe you should.”</p><p>Dongmin looked down, shaking his head. </p><p>“Don’t be scared.”</p><p>“But I <em>am</em> scared.”</p><p>“It’s just me here,” Bin said quietly. “You don’t need to be scared of me. In fact, I’ll go first.”</p><p>Dongmin looked up, eyes boring into Bin’s in anticipation. </p><p>“I’m Moon Bin, I’m twenty-two, I like to dance and I’m gay.” Bin smiled at Dongmin. “And that doesn’t make me any less of a human. I’m not worth any less, and neither are you, no matter what you’ve been told.”</p><p>New tears formed in Dongmin’s eyes. </p><p>“You don’t have to say it out loud if you don’t want to, but it helps. The first step to acceptance is to accept yourself.”</p><p>Dongmin let out a shaky breath. “I can’t accept myself, Bin. I can’t be—” he swallowed hard, “—I can’t be what I am in this industry.”</p><p>Bin looked at him sadly. “I get why you didn’t want to be seen with me,” he said. “Does the media talk about it often?”</p><p>As Dongmin closed his eyes, another tear fell. “Constantly. I can’t be around guys my age without something surrounding my se—sexuality trending.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Bin whispered. </p><p>Dongmin sighed as he looked down at his socked feet. “There’s nothing I can do about it. I’ll just have to live in the closet until I die.”</p><p>At that Bin, wrapped Dongmin in his arms again. “Does no one know?”</p><p>“No one,” Dongmin said, then bit his lip. “Just—Just some guys I occasionally hook up with.”</p><p>Bin stirred in his arms. “You hook up with people? Isn’t that dangerous?”</p><p>“I only practice safe sex,” Dongmin replied, which got a laugh out of the younger.</p><p>“I meant, dangerous for your secret coming out.”</p><p>“Oh.” Heat rushed to Dongmin’s cheek. He thanked the heavens Bin couldn’t see his face right now. “I pay them a lot of money not to tell.”</p><p>Bin pulled back, and then he looked at Dongmin seriously. “The fact they require payment for that is appalling,” he said, and disgust was clear on his face. </p><p>“I need to make sure."</p><p>Bin gently cupped Dongmin’s face and looked at him with a look filled with seriousness. “Even though we will never see each other again, just know I will <em>never</em> tell anyone.” A surge of pain hit Dongmin at the thought of never seeing Bin again. “I know you didn’t intend on sharing your secret and I unconsciously might have pulled it out of you, but your secret is safe with me.”</p><p>“Bin-ah,” Dongmin said, barely a whisper. “Please don’t leave.”</p><p>The younger looked at him sadly. “I have to go back to Sua.”</p><p>“But after,” Dongmin pleaded. “Will I see you again?”</p><p>Bin dropped his arms from Dongmin’s body. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”</p><p>Dongmin’s world seemed to crash right in front of him. He had only ever felt this pull with Kwon, to wish to see him constantly; the wish not to part. A wave of icy coldness ran through his entire body and he felt more tears form. He hadn’t cried quite like this in a very long time, as his emotions had been turned off for years. </p><p>Dongmin watched Bin grab his phone from the bedside table. The younger was really slipping through his fingers now. </p><p>“But Bin,” Dongmin said, making the younger pause his actions. “I like you.” That, however, didn’t seem to capture his feelings enough. “Like, you know…”</p><p>Bin exhaled sharply. “No, you don’t.”</p><p>Dongmin frowned. “Yes. Yes, I do.”</p><p>“No, Eunwoo,” Bin said, pocketing his phone. “From what I understand, this, <em>us</em>, is probably the closest you’ve been with a guy in a while. Am I right?”</p><p>Dongmin blinked. “I don’t see how—”</p><p>“It’s barely been a day, Eunwoo. Normal people don’t develop crushes or whatever it is you feel within that short amount of time,” Bin said with another sigh. “Our ideas of reality aren’t the same. What I think, is that you like the idea of being with someone and I happened to fall into your life. You probably lack serious entertainment, and here I am, a ball of entertainment right at your feet. Whatever your feelings towards me are, they’re not real. I happen to have temporarily filled a hole, but that’s all.”</p><p>Dongmin didn’t know what to say. Bin wasn’t necessarily wrong, he <em>did</em> fill a hole in Dongmin’s chest. He, indeed, had been nothing but entertainment, but it wasn’t like that. Entertainment was watching a movie and feeling content for however long it lasted. This was a different feeling, so why was he so against the idea of Dongmin liking him? </p><p>Something clicked in Dongmin’s brain. “Is this about what Mingyu said?”</p><p>Bin perked up. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“You do realize you’re beautiful, right?”</p><p>Bin scoffed.</p><p>“Is it about that?” Dongmin asked, flabbergasted. “It can’t seriously be about that.”</p><p>Bin chuckled bitterly to himself. “It’s not just that, but I mean, have you <em>seen</em> yourself? Even if you weren’t famous, you’re incredibly, <em>incredibly</em> far out of my league. It makes no sense that you—”</p><p>“Oh come <em>on</em>!” Dongmin said, throwing his hands up in frustration. “You wore a sweater with your own blood on it and I fell at your feet! I’m very, very much aware it’s been less than a day, but Bin you’ve truly opened my eyes. You’ve been bringing out the best in me, you’ve allowed me to be myself with you.”</p><p>Bin seemed conflicted. </p><p>Dongmin slumped his shoulders. “It’s okay if you don’t like me ba—”</p><p>Bin rubbed at his face. “It’s not about that.” He sighed. “I just—I just don’t want to be used.”</p><p>Dongmin cocked his head. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Well, it’s not like we could ever be together,” Bin replied, “and I don’t want to become one of your secret hook-ups.”</p><p>Dongmin, truthfully, hadn’t thought this far. Bin was right, there was no point in Dongmin liking Bin if he couldn’t act upon it. And he couldn’t act upon it. Dongmin couldn’t come out. </p><p>Thinking of it, Dongmin’s confession must have hurt Bin more than it made him happy, but Dongmin was willing to make it work somehow. “You wouldn’t be a secret hook-up.”</p><p>“Maybe not,” Bin replied. “But I’d be a secret nonetheless, which I understand. I truly understand, Eunwoo. But I don’t want to be someone’s secret anymore.” He scratched at his eyebrow. “Not to be repetitive or anything, but we haven’t known each other long and I’m not gonna let you make rash decisions.”</p><p>He watched Bin continue to gather his stuff, completely intend on leaving. </p><p>Dongmin closed his eyes, feeling tears form again. “Can I ask you one question, though? Before you go?”</p><p>A few seconds of silence came before an affirming hum. </p><p>“Do you like me, too?”</p><p>Dongmin felt hands on his cheeks. “Cha Eunwoo, you are very insufferable. Though you hit me with a door, you took me to the bathroom. Though you didn’t want to, you still offered to bring me to my hotel. Though you made me go to the store to get you new underwear, you gave me your other pair. Though it made you nervous, you let me sleep in the bed with you. I don’t think there is a single person on this earth who doesn’t like you.”</p><p>It wasn’t the answer he was looking for, but he decided to cherish it anyway.</p><p>“Bin-ah?” he asked in a small voice, eyes fluttering open.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>He wanted to know what it felt like to kiss someone you like— for a kiss to mean something, even if those feelings weren't reciprocated. </p><p>He whispered, “Can you kiss me? Just once?” A tear fell down his cheek at his own request. “I won’t bother you ever again.”</p><p>“Is it your first kiss?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Is it your first meaningful kiss?”</p><p>Dongmin didn’t answer. </p><p>“Then no, Eunwoo,” Bin said softly. Another tear fell from Dongmin’s eyelashes. “You should save it for someone special.”</p><p>Dongmin put his hand on Bin’s wrist. “But you <em>are</em> special to me,” he whispered. </p><p>Bin smiled sadly as he shook his head. “Eunwoo—”</p><p>“Dongmin,” Dongmin corrected quietly. “I understand if you don’t want to kiss me, but can you call me Dongmin one last time, then? Please?”</p><p>Bin looked conflicted once again, but Dongmin prayed he would do it. </p><p>A tear hit the actor’s sock as Bin said, “Dongmin-ah, can you call me a cab?”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. FIVE</h2></a>
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sua threw her arms around Bin as soon as she opened the door to their hotel room. The first thing he noticed, after having hugged Dongmin so excessively that morning, that it felt entirely different from hugging Sua. </p><p>“I’m so sorry, again,” Sua said as she let go of his neck in favor of his hand, dragging him inside. “Are you hungry? Let’s go out for lunch.”</p><p>He shook his head. “I ate really recently. I just want to shower and relax for a bit.”</p><p>“Relax!? Aren’t you bored out of your mind? What did you even do?”</p><p>“Eh—lots of things,” Bin said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and plugged it into his charger. “I wasn’t bored for even a second.”</p><p>“That’s good, then,” Sua said. “But oppa?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Who on earth’s clothes are that?”</p><p>Bin’s eyebrows skyrocketed. He completely forgot he was still wearing Eunwoo’s clothes. That meant his bloody sweater was also still in Eunwoo’s car, but it wasn’t one of his favorites, thankfully. Eunwoo could throw it away.</p><p>“Someone—eh—spilled their breakfast on me this morning,” Bin replied. “They gave me some clothes as an apology.” Lying to Sua felt like committing a crime.</p><p>“‘Some clothes’?” Sua repeated in surprise. “That is a Tommy Hilfiger blouse!”</p><p>“Oh, is it?” Bin said, looking down at the very obvious Tommy logo on his chest. “They must be very generous here in Seoul.”</p><p>Sua snorted. “Lucky bastard. Do you need to return them?”</p><p>“I don’t have their contact info, so,” Bin said as he started unbuttoning it. “Guess I’ll keep the clothes.”</p><p>Sua grinned. “Nice. I’ll so steal that from you.” </p><p>Bin finally took it off, gently placing it on the bed. He dug into his suitcase for new clothes to wear and held them in his hands as he walked to the bathroom. </p><p>“I think Cha Eunwoo owns a blouse like that.”</p><p>At that, Bin froze.</p><p>“Might be that exact model, even.”</p><p><em>Well, not anymore</em> Bin thought and locked the bathroom door. </p><p>Once his head hit the hot water, he let out a breath he felt like he’d been holding ever since he got out of the car to pee. He leaned his forehead against the cold tiles and let the water warm his skin. </p><p>He had no idea what to think. Everything he told Eunwoo came from a place of truth. Being openly gay, he’d been forced back into the closet by too many boyfriends and he didn’t want that for himself anymore; he wanted to be free. But he had completely understood the severity of Eunwoo’s situation. </p><p>Though he wasn’t someone to catch feelings that quickly, Eunwoo’s confession did tug at his heart. Had Eunwoo been a regular person, a student maybe, things might have been different. </p><p>But Eunwoo wasn’t a student, he was a famous actor. </p><p>There was no way Eunwoo actually liked <em>him</em>, anyway. He just liked the idea of having someone, the dancer was sure of it. Eunwoo just needed to realize it himself. </p><p>Bin thought of offering to stay friends, but even that seemed crazy. Eunwoo wouldn’t want to be friends with a person like him. </p><p>He was not at all worth Cha Eunwoo’s time.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few days passed and everything seemed to have gotten back to the way it used to be. </p><p>Well, almost everything. The biggest change was that he could not stop thinking about Eunwoo. </p><p>He lay on the couch of his apartment, feet on Minhyuk’s lap. The younger was scrolling through his phone with headphones engulfing most of his head, and Bin didn’t know if his friend intended to, but the older could hear his music clear as day. </p><p>Bin let out a sigh, letting his head fall back onto the pillows. </p><p>Minhyuk took off his headphones. “What’s with the sigh?”</p><p>“Can’t a guy sigh?”</p><p>“With your pitiful life? No.”</p><p>Bin sat up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“I’m saying your life is boring,” he deadpanned. </p><p>Bin scoffed. “How is my life boring?”</p><p>Minhyuk rolled his eyes, then held his hand open to count on his fingers. “You sleep, go to uni, study, then dance until you’re dead-tired and then sleep again. Day in day out.”</p><p>“It’s called a routine, you ass,” Bin said as he laid back down. “Your life isn’t much better.”</p><p>“Maybe,” Minhyuk replied, “but at least I have friends I go out with.”</p><p>Bin rolled his eyes. </p><p>“Sanha <em>is</em> my friend,” Minhyuk retorted. </p><p>Now Bin was the one to roll his eyes. “I bet, that even if you’d get married, you’d still call him your friend.”</p><p>“Well, joke’s on you ‘cause that’s illegal here,” Minhyuk supplied. “And you know damn well why he’s only a friend.” </p><p>Bin did know. Minhyuk, who was asexual, didn’t want Sanha, who was not asexual, to miss out on any experiences. Sanha, on the other hand, could not care less about Minhyuk’s refusal of doing anything remotely sexual.</p><p>Sanha had been in love with Minhyuk for as long as Bin could remember and Bin knew Minhyuk liked Sanha too, but the dancer didn’t want to act upon his feelings in fear of disappointing Sanha in the long run. </p><p>Bin looked around their living room. “Where’s that 8-foot-monster anyway?”</p><p>“If that’s supposed to be Sanha, then he went home some time ago.”</p><p>“Ah,” Bin said, “what’d you guys do?”</p><p>“Play Among Us with some of his friends,” Minhyuk answered before picking his headphones back up. “Any more questions, officer? Or am I cleared?”</p><p>Bin pursed his lips, then shrugged. “Cleared.”</p><p>The silence gave Bin some time to think. He considered the fact Minhyuk didn’t allow Sanha to like him a big waste of what could have been great times. Bin was a spectator of many arguments, as the topic of a relationship came up at least once a week. </p><p>And Bin couldn’t blame Sanha, the boy was absolutely smitten with Minhyuk, but the older blocked him despite his own feelings. </p><p>“He just says it to please me,” Minhyuk would always say.</p><p>“Sanha isn’t your ex, you know,” Bin always replied with. He has to admit, Minhyuk’s ex did truly suck. He’d been absolutely crazy about her and she seemed crazy about him, too. Minhyuk had very clearly explained to her that he was fine with kissing, but that he didn’t want to take it any further than that. At the start, she had agreed, but her interest in the dancer had worn off quickly. So whilst Minhyuk’s love grew, hers deflated. </p><p>She had even tried to convince him to try stuff with her, blaming his asexuality on his lack of sexual experience, and because he had been stupidly in love, he had agreed. Even to this day, it was hard to watch movies with explicit sex scenes in them as Minhyuk would always panic at the memories of her in bed. </p><p>But Sanha wouldn’t do that. Minhyuk and Bin had been friends from a very young age, growing up as neighbors. Minhyuk and Sua were the same age and got along pretty well too, and soon enough the three of them were always found dancing together. </p><p>When Sua and Minhyuk entered high-school, Sua befriended Jooha. And with Jooha came pros and cons. Jooha was an incredibly good friend to Sua, but she was completely infatuated with Bin. And by that time, being sixteen, Bin had long figured out he had no interest in girls at all. </p><p>Then came Jooha’s little brother, Sanha. </p><p>Yoon Sanha was very tall for his age, to Bin’s dismay. The boy was in his final year of middle school when Bin met him, but despite his height, he looked like a twelve-year-old.</p><p>Jooha was almost always present in the Moon household, practically glued to Sua’s side, and she would often bring Sanha with her. Their parents worked until very late and Bin’s parents didn’t like the idea of the Yoon children being home alone for that long and preparing unhealthy food for themselves every night. </p><p>So, from Monday to Thursday, the Yoon children went to the Moon household after school. Minhyuk, at that point, was already considered part of the Moon family. If Jooha was attached to Sua’s hip, Minhyuk was to Bin’s. </p><p>But the transition from two to three was surprisingly easy. Sanha fit in well, he was also interest in both music and dance like Bin and Minhyuk were and unlikes Sanha, the older two weren’t very aegyo-inclined. The younger brought a breath of fresh air to their trio-formerly-duo. </p><p>Bin left high school when Sanha entered, and then Minhyuk and Sanha started spending more time together. Bin hadn’t mind, but after a year or so, he could tell something had shifted between the younger two. </p><p>“What happened?” Bin asked one night when Minhyuk called all of a sudden. </p><p>“Sanha confessed.”</p><p>“That he was the one to eat your brownie?”</p><p>“Jesu—I knew it was him! God damn it.” Then there was a short silence. “But no. He told me he’s in love with me.”</p><p>“Oh, that. Well, it was about time.”</p><p>“You knew!?”</p><p>“Everyone knows. The guy looks at you like you hung the stars.”</p><p>Bin heard Minhyuk splutter. “You could have told me!”</p><p>Bin rolled his eyes. “You can’t seriously tell me you haven't noticed.”</p><p>“Well, I haven’t!” </p><p>“Then you’re very oblivious. What’d you tell him?”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Bin frowned. “Huh?”</p><p>“I fucking told him thanks, hyung.”</p><p>“What kind of answer is that?” Bin said with a laugh. </p><p>“A panicked one!”</p><p>“Why were you panicked? You feel the same way.”</p><p>A silence fell. “I can’t.”</p><p>“Can’t what?”</p><p>“Be with him.”</p><p>Bin, even though the conversation was held years ago, still remembered it like it was yesterday. And the fact Sanha and Minhyuk were still on the same page baffled the oldest of the trio. </p><p>He found it mesmerising to watch two individuals who liked each other decide not to act upon it because of the wishes of one of them. </p><p>And then suddenly, it dawned on Bin. </p><p>Was he not in that exact same boat?</p><p>“Wow,” said Minhyuk suddenly. “Your eyes just grew twice their size.”</p><p>Bin face-palmed himself, then groaned. </p><p>“Jesus, what’s <em>up</em> with you today?”</p><p>Bin kicked Minhyuk’s leg. “I just came to a very unfortunate realization.”</p><p>Minhyuk took his headphone back off. “Elaborate.”</p><p>Bin pursed his lips. He’d promised Eunwoo he wouldn’t tell anyone and he planned on keeping that promise. But he needed to talk about the whole incident with someone or he’d explode. “If I’d ask you not to ask further questions, would you?”</p><p>“I guess.”</p><p>“That’s not a good enough answer.”</p><p>“If I said yes and then ended up asking questions you’d be disappointed I didn’t keep my word.”</p><p>Bin gave him a look. </p><p>“Sure, okay. I won’t ask questions.”</p><p>Bin braced himself. “Remember I told you Sua left me stranded and I found myself a hotel to sleep in?”</p><p>Minhyuk nodded.</p><p>“That’s—That’s not entirely how things went.”</p><p>This peaked the younger’s interest.</p><p>“Here comes the part about not asking questions, by the way,” Bin started. “So you know I got out of the car to pee, right? Well, on the way to find somewhere to pee, someone opened a door in my face.”</p><p>Minhyuk grimaced at the mental image.</p><p>“Yeah, exactly. Hit me square in the nose and I bled a lot. An insane amount, really. Like, what the fuck. Since when do noses even bleed that much? That made no sense to me. Then again, remember when I was twelve and—”</p><p>“You’re going off topic,” Minhyuk said gently. </p><p>“Oh, sorry,” Bin said, thinking about where he left off. “Right, so I bled. And the person at fault was really shocked and they were a bitch about it at first but then took me to the closest bathroom so I could pee and clean the blood off. I was gonna call a cab then but realized I had no money on me and my phone was about to die and so they offered to drive me to my hotel.”</p><p>“Just like that?”</p><p>Bin held up a silencing finger. “I said no questions. And no, not just like that, they wanted to see some sort of identification and stuff.”</p><p>“And you didn’t ask for theirs?”</p><p><em>Oh, I didn’t need to ‘cause I knew exactly who he was</em> Bin definitely didn’t say. “I said no questions,” he repeated. “But on the way to my hotel something happened and they took me to their hotel instead.”</p><p>“The fuck—”</p><p>“I <em>said</em>—”</p><p>Minhyuk huffed. “That was a comment, not a question.”</p><p>Bin gave him a look. “Then don’t comment, either. Anyway, we were in their hotel and there were some complications that forced me to spent to the night there and there was only one bed.”</p><p>“Classic.”</p><p>Bin wasn’t sure how to properly summarize what had happened without making Eunwoo sound like a total creep or spilling too much information. “Anyway, let’s just say that the person doesn’t exactly live a normal lifestyle like us and is seriously deprived of friendly attention, basically. We spent a lot of time talking and they couldn’t sleep so we talked some more and when that didn’t work I offered to stroke his hair—”</p><p>“His?” Minhyuk asked, and Bin realized he slipped up.</p><p>He groaned. “Yeah, okay, it was a guy.”</p><p>“And you offered to stroke his hair,” Minhyuk said. “That’s pretty intimate.”</p><p>“It was. Anyhow, we talked a lot more and it was nice. Very nice. Eventually we fell asleep and then we had breakfast, ran into another issue, got into an argument and it turned out all the incidents we had run into were caused because he’s gay.”</p><p>“Right… Just know this isn’t making any sense to me,” Minhyuk said with a frown. </p><p>“I don’t mean to be vague but I told him I wouldn’t tell,” Bin said apologetically. “But the reason I’m telling you this, is because he confessed to liking me that morning.”</p><p>Minhyuk’s frown deepened. “That’s ridiculous.”</p><p>“Exactly!” Bin exclaimed, thankful his friend felt the same. “Especially after finding out about his attention deprivation. He was just saying that because he finally got attention rather than actually liking me.”</p><p>Minhyuk pursed his lips. “How do you know?”</p><p>Bin rubbed his face. “You should have seen him, Hyuk.”</p><p>“Cute?”</p><p>Bin chuckled bitterly to himself. “By far the most beautiful guy to grace the planet.”</p><p>Minhyuk snorted. “Isn’t that what Sua and Jooha say about that Cha Eunwoo guy?”</p><p>Bin froze, then laughed awkwardly. “Eh—yeah, he looked sort of like him I guess. So he was very, very much out of my league. Had he not been deprived, he would not have even <em>looked</em> at me had we crossed paths in, I don’t know, a street.”</p><p>“Maybe you’re his type?”</p><p>Bin, honestly, hadn’t thought of that. He hadn’t asked what Eunwoo’s typical hook-up guys looked like, but it didn’t matter. “A guy like him should not be wasting his time with me.”</p><p>Minhyuk gave him a sad look. “Hyung, are you still struggling with—”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it,” Bin said quickly.</p><p>“Well, I think we should if it’s still bothering you,” Minhyuk insisted. “Hyung, you know you’re great, right?”</p><p>They had this conversation about once a month, but it always ended the same way; with Bin leaving the room. If he had to date back his insecurities, he believed they started when he got diagnosed with ADHD.</p><p>He’d struggled with the symptoms long before being diagnosed, but once he got the diagnosis, he felt like they were all magnified. Before, he’d just rendered himself a bit of a mess, but now that he knew where it stemmed from, he couldn’t help but notice every single thing he did. </p><p>After a while, he started considering himself a big nuisance. He tried to do everything in his power to stop his symptoms from showing. He’d even started taking medication, and though it worked wonders for his self-esteem because he could now focus properly and not be annoying to others, it messed with his dancing. All sense of creativity and spontaneity left his body until the medication slowly wore off.</p><p>Because of that, he had to choose between self-hatred and dance, and he picked the latter.</p><p>Though he’d never considered himself handsome or a match to any of his classmates, his insecurities surrounding his physical appearance grew the longer he was off his medication.</p><p>And then came Cha Eunwoo, who Sua had completely fallen for. Posters of the actor adorned her room and it was all she could talk about— it was all Bin saw. </p><p>Cha Eunwoo with his perfectly small face, tall body and flawless skin. He was, by far, the most beautiful person Bin had ever seen and probably would ever see. He sometimes even found himself sitting in Sua room’s when she wasn’t there, just staring at the actor in admiration.</p><p>Ironic how the boy he had compared himself to for years was the one to show interest in <em>him</em>. </p><p>“Hyung, I asked you a question,” Minhyuk said, shaking Bin out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Yeah,” Bin lied, “I know I’m great.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>Exactly one week after Bin had left Eunwoo, the older was trending on Naver. </p><p>The dancer never looked at news articles surrounding celebrities, but it was Sanha who had burst into Bin’s room screeching at the top of his lungs. The older had almost fallen off the bed at the sudden sound.</p><p>“The fuck, Sanha?” Bin yelled from the edge of the bed.</p><p>Sanha stalked over to where Bin was holding onto the sheets for dear life, willing himself not to fall, when the younger showed him his phone. </p><p>Bin did fall then. </p><p>It was a video. A video of him and Eunwoo in the hotel lobby that looked like it was taken with a security camera. It was a clip of the short walk between the elevator and dining hall, and though his face had been almost entirely blurred, Sanha was clearly able to recognize him just from his body. </p><p>He remembered those few steps well. Eunwoo had made a particularly bad joke and Bin hadn’t been able to stop himself from laughing. </p><p>But then he looked at Eunwoo; the soft way he looked at Bin. A look of pure adoration and affection. It was unmistakenly the look Eunwoo had talked about; the one that always got him and his sexuality trending. </p><p>And now it was trending again, because he had looked at <em>Bin</em> like that.</p><p>“There’s an article attached,” Sanha said as he handed Bin the phone.</p><p>In short, the article spoke about an anonymous source that had told them of Bin and Eunwoo’s little affair. He wasn’t mentioned by name, simply addressed as a non-celebrity, and then it went on and on about their clothes. The anonymous source had apparently taken note of Eunwoo wearing the exact same outfit he’d worn the day before and Bin wearing clothes that were not his. At the bottom of the article, Eunwoo’s sexuality was no longer questioned. </p><p>It stated the actor had admitted to being homosexual.</p><p>Bin swallowed hard. <em>Shit</em>.  </p><p>He looked up at Minhyuk, who was leaning against the doorframe.</p><p>“So it was Cha Eunwoo?” Minhyuk deduced. “The one from the story.”</p><p>“What story?” Sanha asked in interest, looking from Minhyuk to Bin. </p><p>“Remember when Sua left hyung stranded? Yeah, so turns out Cha Eunwoo had slammed a door in his face and then took hyung to his own hotel.”</p><p>Sanha’s eyes widened. “What the hell?”</p><p>Bin groaned as he got up from the floor. “That’s a very, very undetailed version of what happened.”</p><p>“Okay, then tell me in detail,” Sanha requested, and then Bin did. He told them everything, every little detail. </p><p>Once he reached the end, both of them looked at him with their mouths open. </p><p>“Hyung!” Sanha screeched, picking up a pillow and hitting Bin. “You rejected Cha—fucking—Eunwoo!”</p><p>“Did you not hear what he said?” Minhyuk asked Sanha. “He’s scared Eunwoo doesn’t actually like him but just the idea of him.”</p><p>At Minhyuk’s words, Sanha let out a frustrated sound, dropping the pillow. “God, you are both <em>insufferable</em>! Why are you both acting like you’re so hard to like? You both act like the idea of someone liking you and wanting to make sacrifices for you is completely impossible!”</p><p>Bin watched as Minhyuk’s annoyed expression turned into a glare. “This isn’t about us, Sanha.”</p><p>“Isn’t it?” Sanha countered hotly. “I think the situations are eerily similar. Cha Eunwoo enjoyed his time with Bin-hyung so much he probably fell in love with him right there. Love at first sight exists, you fools! Bin-hyung, you told us Cha Eunwoo said you brought out the best in him, right? And you said he doesn’t allow himself to get close to guys. With you, he had no choice. What if he realized he should just allow himself to be with people he likes regardless of the rumors? Hyung, I think he <em>actually</em> likes you for you. Not for the attention you provided.”</p><p>Bin didn’t know what to say, but then his phone rang. </p><p>“Who is it?” asked Minhyuk.</p><p>“Unknown number,” Bin replied. He looked back up at Minhyuk. “Should I pick up?”</p><p>“Yes,” Sanha said, obviously curious. </p><p>“Okay.” Bin accepted the call and held the phone to his ear.</p><p>“Is this Moon Bin?”</p><p>He recognized the voice immediately, but it wasn’t a tone he remembered. In all his hours spent with Eunwoo, he had never sounded this <em>cold</em>. He waved towards the door, silently asking Minhyuk and Sanha to leave him alone. </p><p>“Eunwoo,” Bin said shakily. “I saw—”</p><p>“Who did you tell?”</p><p>The words took a few seconds to sink in. “Wait, <em>what</em>?”</p><p>“<em>Who</em> did you tell?” Eunwoo repeated heatedly. “What did they offer you, huh? <em>How much money was this worth!?</em>”</p><p>A silence fell, and then it dawned on Bin.</p><p>“You’re accusing me.” he said slowly, shaking his head in disbelief. “I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell a fucking soul! Ever since I’ve left that god damned hotel I’ve been lying to everyone! I didn’t even mention you these past few days!”</p><p>“You’re lying!” Eunwoo screamed, and Bin could hear the tears in his voice. “You’re the only person I’ve told, you know that! It couldn’t have been anyone but you!”</p><p>The fact Eunwoo didn’t believe his word shattered Bin’s heart. He sighed, allowing himself a few seconds to calm down. “Eunwoo, I swear I didn’t tell anyone.”</p><p>The actor scoffed. “Well, I hope you’re happy,” he spat. “You’ve ruined my career.”</p><p>Bin thought that over. At the time, he hadn’t given it much thought, but Eunwoo was not originally Eunwoo. He must have been born as Lee Dongmin, but someone had made the decision to change his name to appeal to more people. </p><p>That got Bin thinking. Did Eunwoo even like acting? He was always given emotionless, stoic characters to play which must not be fun, and he’d seemed oddly envious of Bin’s ability to dance and when he thought Bin wasn’t paying attention, he always caught Eunwoo singing under his breath.</p><p>Was Eunwoo even happy? Because of his profession, he was forced to hide all of himself. He truly lived a life Bin would absolutely hate to live. Did Eunwoo hate it, too?</p><p>“It wasn’t me,” Bin insisted. He bit on his cheek as he said, “But you know what? Maybe this if for the better.”</p><p>“Excus—What the hell is that supposed to mean?”</p><p>Bin leaned his head against the headboard of his bed. “Can I ask you a serious question?”</p><p>Eunwoo didn’t answer. </p><p>“Are you happy?”</p><p>Eunwoo answered only after a few seconds. “What is it to you?”</p><p>Bin scoffed. “Just because I didn’t develop feelings for you within twelve hours doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”</p><p>Now Eunwoo scoffed. “Well, then if you care so much, then no, Bin, I’m very much not happy. Is that what you wanted to hear?”</p><p>“No, that’s not what I wanted to hear. But what’s stopping you from being happy?”</p><p>Eunwoo let out a frustrated sound.</p><p>Bin needed to know; needed to find out. He needed answers to his concerns. “What I wanted to ask is,” Bin started, “is the life you live a life <em>you</em> want to live?”</p><p>“<em>Who</em> do you think you are, huh?” Eunwoo spat. “Is this your goal? Do you enjoy hurting me?”</p><p>“No, I’m trying to provide a reality check,” Bin explained calmly. “You’re saying this ruined your career, but would that be so bad? From everything I’ve seen and everything you’ve told me, you seem to hate your life.”</p><p>There was another silence. “I have no choice.”</p><p>“Of course you have a choice.”</p><p>“No, I fucking don’t!” Eunwoo yelled. </p><p>“Yes, you fucking do!” Bin yelled back. “It’s <em>your</em> life!”</p><p>“God, you don’t understand! It has <em>never</em> been my life!” Eunwoo said in a choked-up voice. “And it’ll never be!”</p><p>“But now is your chance,” Bin encouraged, “this could be your chance to free yourself.”</p><p>Bin remembered quite vividly the conversation he’d had with his mother, whom he had nervously shared his sexuality with. He begged her for forgiveness and was incredibly sorry he was not the son they’d hoped he would be. Instead, his mother told him that the son they hoped he would be, was one that was happy, healthy and himself. His mother told him she had never been more proud of him, and that she wanted him to always be able to express himself.</p><p>“Free myself,” Eunwoo repeated with a bitter laugh. “My parents locked me in my own apartment so I can’t further tarnish my reputation. They said they’d fix it.”</p><p>“Fix <em>what</em>?” Bin asked frustratingly. “There is nothing to fix.”</p><p>“Yes there is! Everything needs to be fixed now!” He groaned. “I never asked to be gay, Bin!”</p><p>“But you <em>are</em> gay!” Bin screamed. “And you were great at dictating my life during those hours spent together but you let everyone else dictate <em>yours</em>! You’re playing it safe!”</p><p>“Well, maybe I like playing it safe!”</p><p>Bin scoffed. “If that’s the case, then you’re a fucking coward.”</p><p>Eunwoo fell silent. </p><p>“Maybe the next headline will be ‘Cha Eunwoo hates his life but continues to live it because he’s a coward’,” Bin said, absolutely over it. “You asked me if I enjoyed hurting you, but I think it’s <em>you</em> who enjoys being miserable.” He sighed then. “I just know Lee Dongmin would be ashamed of you, Cha Eunwoo.” </p><p>And then Bin hung up.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. SIX</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nearly two weeks passed, and it hadn’t mattered Bin didn’t have twitter, Sanha had send him links to every article on the matter. It seemed Eunwoo decided to continue the lie about the non-celebrity being a camera guy for a project and being too incompetent to keep the job. Bin’s name wasn’t mentioned once, but the dancer was grateful for it. </p><p>Because the anonymous source had no proof of Eunwoo stating his sexual preference, it was not brought up again and it seemed the general public believed it to be lies. </p><p>“Can you really blame him?” asked Minhyuk one day when Bin rolled his eyes at yet another article. </p><p>Bin sighed, locking his phone and laying it on his chest. They were in that same position again, both on the couch with Bin’s feet in the younger’s lap. “I just don’t get it.”</p><p>Minhyuk played with the ends of Bin’s sweatpants. “He probably values being a celebrity over happiness.”</p><p>“I just don’t understand why.”</p><p>“Money, hyung,” Minhyuk deadpanned. </p><p>Bin pursed his lips. “I don’t think he cares that much about money.” He’d given Bin his clothes and also some extra money to use in the convenience store. Someone who cared much for money wouldn’t just randomly hand him some, even if it might be a small amount to him. </p><p>“Do you know anything about his parents?”</p><p>Bin thought it over. “I saw his dad at the venue, and the way they talked to each other ... it didn’t come off very loving. Oh and I know he hadn’t ever had his hair stroked before.”</p><p>Minhyuk looked outside the window. “Do you think his parents love him?”</p><p>Bin sent him a look. “Not having had your hair stroked and not being loved don’t correlate.”</p><p>Minhyuk shrugged. “Maybe not, but what if they don’t love him?” Minhyuk fell silent for a few second, then looked at Bin sadly. “What if they only love him for being Cha Eunwoo?”</p><p>“You watch too many dramas.”</p><p>“Hyung, think about it,” Minhyuk said, turning his head towards Bin. “He is an actor, there’s no need for a stage name. He asked you explicitly to call him Dongmin, which must be his real name, and the fact he asked you to call him that must mean he considers Cha Eunwoo as some sort of character and not his true self.”</p><p>Bin blinked at him. </p><p>“So what if the only way to his parents love is by being Cha Eunwoo? And if he’d come out as gay, the general public will most likely cast him away and he wouldn’t be Cha Eunwoo anymore,” Minhyuk continued. </p><p>He took a second to think about it. “You don’t think it’s an internalized homophobia thing? He did say he didn’t ask to be gay,” Bin questioned.</p><p>“Did you?” Minhyuk countered. “Being gay in our country isn’t easy even as a non-celebrity. There’s a lot at risk for him.”</p><p>Bin sighed, rubbing his face. “Maybe I haven’t been the most understanding then.”</p><p>Minhyuk shrugged. “I mean, it’s good to provide reality checks but I think you might have gone a bit far in calling him a coward. He’s probably really scared.” Minhyuk then took a hold of Bin’s feet and removed them from his lap to grab something to drink when the doorbell suddenly rang. </p><p>Bin groaned. “Can you get that?”</p><p>Minhyuk just hummed in response, shuffling towards the door. If Bin was the one tasked with opening the door, he also would not have checked the peephole before opening it because the only person who really rang their bell was Sanha.</p><p>But it was very much not Sanha.</p><p>He instantly sat up as he heard words “Does Moon Bin live here?”. </p><p>Bin craned his neck to look into the hallway and his eyes widened; Cha Eunwoo was standing in his apartment, looking at Minhyuk. He was wearing jeans this time, blue ones, and a big brown coat that swallowed his body despite his height. </p><p>Minhyuk folded his arms over his chest, and even though he knew very well what Cha Eunwoo looked like, he asked, “Who’s asking?”</p><p>Eunwoo looked away from Minhyuk, which resulted in him looking straight at Bin, and if he had to describe it, he would say Eunwoo looked miserable. He had large bags under his eyes, looked like he lost some weight and his hair, despite being mostly hidden by a beanie, looked disheveled. </p><p>The way he just looked so <em>sad</em> tugged at Bin’s heart. </p><p>“Lee Dongmin,” Eunwoo answered to Minhyuk’s question, still looking at Bin. He let out a shaky breath. “I came here as Lee Dongmin.”</p><p>As Bin got up from the couch, Minhyuk glanced at him. Though he did not open his mouth, his eyes clearly read <em>Is this okay?</em>. Bin nodded in response, taking over Minhyuk’s spot at the door and watching the younger boy move into his bedroom.</p><p>“Bin,” Eunwoo said in a whisper, still standing at the doorstep. The way Eunwoo had said his name, even though he’d said it many times before, made a shiver run down his spine. It sounded so broken. “I understand if you don’t want me to come in—”</p><p>Not strong enough to refuse, Bin sighed in defeat. “It’s okay. You can come in,” he said, stepping towards the wall so Eunwoo could enter. As Bin closed the door, the older opened the zipper to his jacket. </p><p>“Would you like me to take that?” Bin asked, holding out his hand.</p><p>“Oh,” Eunwoo said in surprise before handing it to the younger, “thank you.”</p><p>Bin hummed, putting the coat on one of their hangers. “You can put your shoes here.”</p><p>Eunwoo toed them off and placed them neatly next to Bin’s. “Was that your roommate?”</p><p>“Yeah,” said Bin, leading the other towards the living room. Eunwoo was fidgeting, playing with his fingers and looking overall small and awkward. All in all, the confidence Cha Eunwoo The Actor gave off was nowhere to be found.</p><p>Bin gestured the actor take a spot on their couch.</p><p>“He—uh—seems nice.”</p><p>“He is. Do you want something to drink?”</p><p>“Oh, no, that’s okay,” Eunwoo said. “I don’t intend on staying long.”</p><p>Bin sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, looking up at the actor. “So there’s a reason for your visit?”</p><p>Eunwoo looked down at his hands in his lap. “Yeah.” He seemed to be looking at everything but Bin. “It wasn’t you.”</p><p>Bin tilted his head in confusion. “What?”</p><p>Eunwoo sighed. “It was a random staff member who told the press. We argued really loudly and a staff member overheard everything, I watched her put her ear against the door when I asked to see the security camera footage.” He looked close to tears. “So she heard … that. And sold the information to the press.”</p><p>Though he hadn’t thought of the possibility, it made a lot of sense. Eunwoo had been so dead-set on Bin being the one to report it, yet it was a staff member all along. </p><p>“Bin,” Eunwoo said, finally looking at him. “I’m so sorry I accused you. I know whatever I say cannot make it right but—”</p><p>“Actually, I don’t care much you thought it was me,” Bin said honestly, cutting him off. “Because <em>I</em> knew it wasn’t me.” </p><p>“And I should have known, too,” Eunwoo said seriously. He then covered his face with his hands as he leaned back on the couch. “I’ve been so stupid.”</p><p>“Yes,” Bin replied immediately. </p><p>Dongmin sat back up instantly. “Huh?”</p><p>“Yes, you’ve been stupid,” Bin clarified. </p><p>The actor’s face turned sour. “Aren’t you supposed to say I haven’t been stupid?”</p><p>“If you hadn’t been stupid, maybe. But you have,” Bin said with a shrug. “So I’m agreeing with you.” </p><p>That got a small chuckle out of Eunwoo. </p><p>“I’ve read the articles, by the way,” Bin said, playing with the carpet. “Can’t believe your parents were able to do it.”</p><p>“Do what?”</p><p>“‘Fix it’,” Bin said, using his fingers as air quotes. “The rumors are gone.”</p><p>Eunwoo looked surprised. “You’re on Twitter?”</p><p>“No, but a friend is.”</p><p>“And they keep you updated?”</p><p>Bin hummed as he looked up at Eunwoo. “So .. Was that all you came to say?” He had an assignment to finish and hadn’t even started.  </p><p>Eunwoo looked a bit startled. “Eh—yeah. I guess? I just—” he looked at Bin with that sad look again, “—are we okay?”</p><p>Now Bin was the one to startle. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I want us to be okay,” Eunwoo said in a small voice. “I don’t want us to fight.”</p><p>Bin sighed. “It doesn’t matter if we’re okay or not. We’re not friends, Eunwoo—”</p><p>“Please don’t call me Eunwoo..”</p><p>“Well, it’s your name.”</p><p>“It’s not!” Eunwoo yelled. </p><p>Bin let out a frustrated sound. “You cannot choose when to be Dongmin or when to be Eunwoo with me, it doesn’t work like that! I can’t keep up!” he yelled back. “You chose to be Eun—”</p><p>“I didn’t choose shit!” Eunwoo said hotly, standing up. “You don’t know anything about me!”</p><p>“Then tell me!” </p><p>“You say <em>you</em> can’t keep up, but I can’t keep up either!” Eunwoo said, throwing his hands up. “One second you want to listen to my stories and stroke my hair and the next you act like you hate me!” </p><p>Out of nowhere, someone coughed and both Bin and Eunwoo both turned their heads towards the sound. </p><p>“Hey, uh—” Minhyuk said, scratching his neck awkwardly, “—I’m gonna go … somewhere else.”</p><p>Bin’s anger immediately dissipated. Minhyuk had grown up in a house of no love, just anger, as his parents constantly fought. Because of that, the boy had always found shelter in the Moon household. He grew up hearing screams and being screamed at, and whenever a fight broke loose, he would always leave; too anxious to stay. </p><p>Bin hadn’t meant his chat with Eunwoo to turn into a screaming match. </p><p>Bin’s shoulders slumped. “Hyuk, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“No, no, it’s okay, really,” Minhyuk assured, clearing his throat. “I just—yeah. I’ll come back later.”</p><p>Bin nodded, ashamed. “Okay. I’ll text you. Say hi to Sanha from me.” </p><p>Minhyuk didn’t even try to hide his blush, just nodded. </p><p>Silence filled the room until the younger closed the front door behind him. </p><p>Bin folded his arms over his chest. “No more screaming. Even if Minhyuk’s gone, I still have neighbors.”</p><p>Dongmin hugged his own chest nervously. “Did I—Did I scare him off?”</p><p>“It’s—It’s not you that scared him off it’s … he doesn’t take well to screaming,” Bin clarified. “But anyway, I think it’d be best if you’d leave.” </p><p>Bin looked towards the door. </p><p>“Why?” Dongmin asked, sitting on the couch still. “<em>Why</em> do you keep pushing me away?”</p><p>“What is there to push away? We could never <em>be</em> anything,” Bin said, rubbing at his face. “You have very clearly stated you stay away from male friendships. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m a guy.”</p><p>“Okay, okay, yeah I said that but, I don’t know, we could text? Maybe?” Eunwoo offered. But at Bin’s deadpanned reaction, he sighed. “Bin-ah, I’m sure you can tell but,” he said, looking incredibly embarrassed, “I don’t have friends. I don’t have a singular friend. I have no one to share my thoughts with. I’m scared of so many things and because of that, I’ve pushed everyone away. But here you are, pushing <em>me</em> away and I’ve found myself not scared anymore. You are so positively different from anyone I’ve ever met and it’s all <em>you</em>. You’re funny, kind, passionate, smart and so <em>stubborn</em>. I’ve never met someone as stubborn as you and that’s because you’re your own person. You’re so incredibly yourself and it makes me want to be myself, too. You bring out the best in me, Bin. Truly.”</p><p>Bin was at a loss for words. </p><p>“When you called me a coward,” he continued, “I was furious. I felt like you had no right to tell me that—”</p><p>“No, I had no right,” Bin agreed, thinking of Minhyuk who had made him realized. </p><p>Eunwoo shook his head. “But I needed to hear it. Because you’re right, I <em>am</em> a coward. I’m a very, very big coward and though I want to change that, it’s near-impossible.”</p><p>Bin perked up at that. “Near?”</p><p>“Yes,” Eunwoo answered. “Near-impossible. Because you made another point, I hate my life. You were right once again, and at this point it seems as if you know me better than I do.” He pursed his lips, looking down into his lap. “I never wanted to act, you know?”</p><p>Bin sat back down on the carpet.</p><p>“I was forced into fame at a young age and my parents,” he looked at the window sadly, “they’ve never really loved me as Lee Dongmin. But once I was made to be Cha Eunwoo, they started appreciating me more. They started complimenting me, which they had never done before, and those compliments meant everything to me. I held onto them like they were sacred and I allowed myself to fully become this character they’ve created and in turn, I lost myself.” He looked at Bin then. “When you said Lee Dongmin would be disappointed in the person I had become, it broke something in me, because you were right. He <em>is</em> disappointed.”</p><p>“But the love your parents give you for being Cha Eunwoo is bigger than the desire to be Lee Dongmin,” Bin deduced.</p><p>Eunwoo bit his lip. “It was, for the longest time. But you’ve made me realize that my parents complimenting me for my accomplishments doesn’t equal love. When you stroked my hair, though you hadn’t intended it, I felt loved. For the first time. It made me realize so many different things, but I only really dared to think of them when you called me a coward.”</p><p>Bin’s mind short-circuited. Eunwoo had felt <em>loved</em>. The simple gesture of stroking his hair, which was such a normal thing for Bin to do and receive, had made Eunwoo feel loved. It truly dawned on Bin that Eunwoo must not feel loved ever, and Bin had made him feel loved by doing something that is <em>Bin</em>. </p><p>Maybe he was wrong, and Sanha was right. Bin remembered the jab Sanha made about the two dancers acting like they’re hard to like, that the idea of someone liking them is impossible. Maybe Eunwoo actually liked Bin for Bin, and not for Bin filling a hole. He hadn’t given Eunwoo any sort of attention the past few weeks, yet Eunwoo still sought him out. </p><p>And Bin couldn’t lie, he’d been thinking about Eunwoo every single day since he’d met him. He couldn’t lie and say the bits and pieces of Lee Dongmin he was able to find during his time with Cha Eunwoo didn’t make his heart flutter. </p><p>Eunwoo swallowed hard. “Can you please say something?” </p><p>Bin bit the inside of his cheek. “So … texting.”</p><p>Eunwoo looked surprised at Bin being interested in the idea, then a big grin followed. “I said not being a coward is <em>near</em>-impossible before, right? I know this is a really, really tiny step but I really want to get to know you better.”</p><p>Bin couldn’t help but cringe at the words. He’d seen this too many times. He’d been with too many guys who had no intention of actively being with him but enjoyed his romantic company on KakaoTalk. By going through with his, he would be allowing Eunwoo into his life, and nothing was certain about it.</p><p>Bin bit the inside of his cheek. “Can I be honest with you?”</p><p>Eunwoo’s face turned serious and he moved down from the couch to the carpet. “Of course.”</p><p>“Even as a non-celebrity, being gay in Korea is hard,” Bin said, hugging his knees to his chest, “so to quote you, I also didn’t ask to be gay. However, despite that, I’m still openly gay—”</p><p>“We can just be friends,” Eunwoo suggested, nodding encouragingly.</p><p>And then came the point Bin was so desperately trying to avoid. Though he was not able to develop a crush within a few hours like Eunwoo, it had now been over two weeks since then, and he could tell it had started developing somewhere deep down in his chest.</p><p>He hated to admit it, and he definitely kept it a secret from Minhyuk and Sanha, but he’d begun watching Eunwoo’s dramas. Seeing his face every day, watching him smile and talk made him an even more prominent feature in Bin’s mind. The scene of lying in bed together with a vulnerable Eunwoo and stroking his hair was on replay constantly. </p><p>“I don’t think I could be your friend,” he said in a small voice. </p><p>Watching the sparkle leave Eunwoo’s eyes broke Bin’s heart more than he thought it could. “Why?”</p><p>Bin closed his eyes, bracing himself for what he was about to say. “Because I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with you.”</p><p>The silence was deafening but then the dancer felt a hand on his cheek, warm and comforting. He kept his eyes closed. </p><p>“Would that be so bad?” </p><p>Bin let out a breath through his nose, placing his hand over Eunwoo’s and keeping it there for a second or two before removing it. “I can’t go back into the closet. I <em>can’t</em>. This is what I mean by saying it might be better if we don’t keep in contact. I can’t go back into the closet and you can’t seem to leave it.”</p><p>Eunwoo scooted closer and he was almost as close as he was when they were lying in bed together; Bin could count every single one of his eyelashes with ease. “Have you had a boyfriend that was out of the closet?”</p><p>Bin shook his head. “No, all of them were in the closet. I know what it’s like and I don’t want it anymore.” </p><p>Eunwoo’s curiosity seemed to increase. “What would you have wanted to do that you couldn’t because they were in the closet? What do you consider a relationship?”</p><p>If someone had asked him that a few years ago, he would have said taking him home and introducing him to his parents. If he had lived in a different country, he would have said strolling around hand-in-hand. If Eunwoo wasn’t famous, he would have said showing him off to all of his friends. </p><p>But Eunwoo spoke before he could, “To me, a relationship is a promise of loyalty. It’s liking someone so fiercely you want to see them every day, talk to them every day. To me, it’s thinking about that someone non-stop.”</p><p>“There is a difference between wanting to see someone every day and actually being able to see them,” Bin pointed out. </p><p>“I could come see you every day,” Eunwoo said, the sparkle back in his eyes. “I have a lot of schedules, but I could come see you in between them.”</p><p>“I’m talking mostly about dates,” Bin said, feeling his cheeks heat up. Talking about this as if Eunwoo was actually considering dating him made the dancer feel incredibly warm all over. “We couldn’t go out.”</p><p>Eunwoo seemed to be deep in thought then. “But what if we could?”</p><p>Bin raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“Two men kissing in public is frowned upon, so even if I wasn’t an actor, kissing would probably not happen during those dates anyway,” Eunwoo said, very obviously checking Bin’s reaction and thinking of kissing Eunwoo definitely got Bin’s cheek heating up further. </p><p>“There’s more to a public relationship than just kissing,” Bin commented. “There’s hand-holding, hugs, maybe whispers and loving glances. And I don’t know if you remember, but you go viral for just <em>looking</em> at a guy a little too affectionately.”</p><p>Dongmin shook his head. “I don’t care about going viral anymore.”</p><p>Bin gave him a look. “Yes, you do. You’re just saying that because we’re… having a moment. You should really sit down and properly think about this.” <em>Because I don’t want to be hurt again</em>. </p><p>Eunwoo let out a breath, then smiled. “You’re right, I will think long and hard about it, but I still stand by what I said. I really like you, Bin.”</p><p>Bin swallowed hard at those words. He grabbed his phone from his pocket, unlocked it, opened the KakaoTalk app and held the device out for Eunwoo to add his contact. “When you’ve thought long and hard,” he said, eyes staring into Eunwoo’s, “text me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. SEVEN</h2></a>
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Minhyuk came home once Eunwoo had long left, Bin was surprised to see the grin plastered on the other’s face.</p><p>Minhyuk stepped into the living room, put his hands on his hips and exhaled proudly. “I’m Sanha’s boyfriend.”</p><p>Bin’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “You’re <em>what</em> now?”</p><p>Apparently, though Bin regretted his scream-a-thon with Minhyuk present, it surprisingly got him and Sanha together. Having overheard Eunwoo and Bin’s argument made Minhyuk realize things he hadn’t realized before.</p><p>“So, yeah, we’re gonna try it out. I’ve set my boundaries and he said he’s completely fine with them,” Minhyuk said and the sparkle in his eyes reminded him of Eunwoo for a second. “Communication is key after all, so we’ve decided to talk about everything and make sure we really understand each other on a relationship-basis and not just as friends.” </p><p>Bin could almost not believe what he was hearing. Minhyuk had always been a listener and not much of a talker, but hearing him say him and Sanha would be talking about everything made Bin sigh in relief. He’d been waiting for this day for ages.</p><p>“How’d it end with…” Minhyuk asked as he walked to the fridge to get a drink.</p><p>“Eh—there’s progress I guess,” Bin replied whilst nodding his head at Minhyuk’s offer of a can of coke. </p><p>Minhyuk looked impressed. “Oh, so you’ve decided to stay in contact? Do you want a glass, by the way?”</p><p>“Just the can’s fine,” Bin replied. “But, yeah, sort of. He’s pretty confusing, to be honest. One second he seems like he’ll have a nervous breakdown if he even <em>thinks</em> of the word gay and the next second he’s ready to risk it all.”</p><p>Minhyuk hummed, handing Bin the can of coke and plopping down on the couch next to him.</p><p>Bin opened it and took a sip. “Gave him my Kakao ID and told him to text me once he’s got it figured out.”</p><p>“Got what figured out?”</p><p>“You know, if he really wants to be seen with me and is ready to face the consequences of potentially dating me,” Bin explained, which had Minhyuk almost spitting out his own drink.</p><p>“Dating you!?” He spluttered. “You talked about <em>dating</em>?” </p><p>“Well, we didn’t sit down and say ‘let’s talking about dating’, it just… came up,” Bin said sheepishly, biting on the tab ring. </p><p>“Did you bring up your crush?”</p><p>Now Bin was the one to almost spit out his drink. </p><p>Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “Let’s not play pretend here. I know you’ve been watching his dramas. We share a Netflix account, hyung.”</p><p>Bin felt his cheeks heat up. “Yah! That doesn’t mean I have a crush!”</p><p>Minhyuk rolled his eyes again. “I think you think you talk about him a lot less than you actually do.”</p><p>“I do not talk about him that often!” Bin retorted, eyes wide.</p><p>“You just proved my point,” Minhyuk said with a smirk, taking another sip of his soda. “It’s okay to admit you’ve at least got a little bit of a crush.”</p><p>Bin huffed. “There’s no point in admitting that. That’s like admitting I had a crush on L from Deathnote.”</p><p>Minhyuk sighed. “Fine, then don’t admit it. I know it’s true anyway.”</p><p>The younger wasn’t wrong. In fact, with each passing day, his crush only grew.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>Three months passed with no text message from Eunwoo, but that didn’t mean nothing had changed. In fact, everything had changed. </p><p>Within those three months, the internet had completely blown up. </p><p>At first, on a random day in August, an article hit the internet about how Eunwoo was seen arguing with his parents on the streets. Not even a day later, a new article was posted with the title <em>CE-Entertainment discloses Cha Eunwoo will be going on an indefinite hiatus</em>. </p><p>Then, a week later, a new article was published about how his pictures were being edited out of the upcoming The Star magazine before its release.</p><p>CE-Entertainment, the entertainment company Eunwoo’s parents founded, kept quiet during all of this, leaving fans completely in the dark and Eunwoo to be destroyed Knetz’ comments. </p><p>By that point, Bin had grown incredibly anxious. The reason for any of these occurrences hadn’t been disclosed and Knetz ran with every possible theory. Bin saw many rumors fly by, most of them he knew to be inaccurate, but there was no one to clear them up.</p><p>But two weeks after, whatever was left of the dam truly broke. News came out that he, after having been cast as the lead character of a new drama, was being replaced by a different actor.</p><p>Bin’s fingers ached with the need to text Eunwoo, to make sure he was okay, but he didn’t know if the other would appreciate that during the chaos. Next to that, he told Eunwoo to text <em>him</em> when he had thought ‘long and hard’. He didn’t want to disrupt him.</p><p>Bin wondered if all of these happenings were the result of Eunwoo’s thinking. </p><p>A few days later, Bin got a notification for an article stating that Cha Eunwoo officially changed his professional name back to his birth name Lee Dongmin. Reading further, it stated that he broke off his contract with CE-Entertainment, and since he was the only person under it, the article mentioned their curiosity about what would happen to the company.</p><p>Bin, unable to take the silence and bear the idea of <em>Dongmin</em> hurting, sent him a message.</p><p>
  <em>Dongmin-ah, are you okay?</em>
</p><p>Then, after having been able to slow down his heart just a bit, he added <em>I’m worried about you.</em></p><p>A week passed with no reply, but there were online updates; as Lee Dongmin, he joined BH-Entertainment instead, who were very no-nonsense and took serious actions against malicious rumors, and instantly tweeted out a statement saying so.</p><p>After that, there weren’t any updates for a couple of weeks, and Bin hoped Dongmin found some time to rest and relax, but then the internet fully and irrevocably blew up. </p><p>The news came out when Bin was about to put the TV on and Sanha stormed from Minhyuk’s room to the living room. Bin, who’d been holding a can of coke and a Snickers bar in his hands and a popcorn bag between his teeth, dropped everything when Sanha shoved his phone in his face. </p><p><em>Lee Dongmin, formerly known as Cha Eunwoo, confirms gay rumors</em>. </p><p>Bin’s heart raced as he read the article. </p><p>It said Dongmin and his parents had a falling out when the boy told them he no longer wanted to hide his sexuality, but they allowed him to do no such thing, thus putting him on hiatus to try and change his mind. </p><p>He didn’t, however, change his mind and demanded an immediate stop to his contract. Because they were his parents and they never expected him to leave, they never really established an official contract with an end date, which gave him the opportunity to leave their company quite easily.</p><p>It mentioned his new company BH-Entertainment, and that Dongmin told them the reasons of his departure from CE-Entertainment was his parents ignorance towards his sexuality and the refusal of giving him any sort of creative freedom.</p><p>BH were positively considering welcoming him to the team from the start, but still needed some time to think about what effect hiring a now openly gay actor might have on their company. They didn’t take very long though, as Dongmin got a call two days later with a welcome message.</p><p>The article ended with a hand-written apology from Dongmin himself in which he voiced his regrets of having had to lie to his fans about who he truly was, but that if they chose to still support him now, he’d show the best, most truthful sides of him in the future. </p><p>There was more, but the tears of joy in Bin’s eyes stopped him from being able to read any further. </p><p>“Hyung, don’t cry,” Minhyuk said slowly, rubbing Bin’s back with his hand. </p><p>But before Bin could respond, his phone started ringing. Annoyed, he quickly fished it from his pocket and raised it to his ear without checking the caller ID.</p><p>His heart stopped.</p><p>“Moon Bin.” The sound of Dongmin calling his name sent a shiver down his spine, and Bin closed his eyes and let out a small, satisfied exhale. </p><p>“Lee Dongmin,” he replied softly. </p><p>There was a small chuckle on the other side of the line. “That’s me.” Bin could hear the smile in his voice. “Could you….”</p><p>Bin frowned. “Could I…?”</p><p>And then the bell rang.</p><p>Dongmin laughed. “Open the door for me?”</p><p>Bin hadn’t ever sprinted towards the door quite like he had now, taking long steps and instantly opening the door to reveal not a boy hidden behind a mask, a fake persona, but a boy truly himself. He wore casual clothes, black sweatpants and a large grey hoodie, and his untouched black hair was dyed a soft brown. </p><p>He grinned at Bin. “Moon Bin,” he repeated.</p><p>Bin grinned back at him. “Lee Dongmin.”</p><p>Dongmin took his hands out of his pockets, then held one of them open for Bin to take. The younger laughed, shaking his head in playful disbelief as he took a step forward to take Dongmin’s hand in his. They were standing in the hall, but Bin couldn’t care less. </p><p>Slowly, he lifted his free hand to land behind Dongmin’s left ear, taking some hair between his fingers. “I love the color.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Dongmin asked, winding his unoccupied arm around Bin’s waist. </p><p>“It suits you,” Bin said, moving his eyes from Dongmin’s hair to his eyes, now only inches from his own. </p><p>“Bin-ah,” Dongmin said softly, leaning forward to press his forehead to Bin’s. “I need you to know that even though you inspired me to free myself, I did it for myself. I wanted to be myself.”</p><p>Bin nodded, smiling brightly. “I’m so, so proud of you.”</p><p>Dongmin broke out into a smile, too. “I also need you to know that I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” He squeezed Bin’s hand. “I still feel the same.”</p><p>Bin hummed, cheeks flushed. “I feel the same way about you.”</p><p>Dongmin drew slightly back, looking at the dancer’s face now. “How about that kiss now?” he asked cheekily.</p><p>

The hand previously nestled in Dongmin’s hair settled on his cheek, gently cradling his face. He looked so beautiful, so strong and confident unlike the last time he came to Bin’s apartment. He looked like a boy who was finally able to make decisions for himself and to live his life like he wanted to. </p><p>Dongmin said that he was free, but he also looked the part. He was <em>shining</em>.</p><p>And then Bin leaned forward to capture Dongmin’s lips in a kiss—the kiss he told the actor to save for someone special. </p><p>Back then, he hadn’t believed the older when he told Bin he was special to him, but now, with this kiss, he could feel it. Dongmin’s lips felt warm, gentle and comforting against his own, and with every movement and every breath, he could truly feel Dongmin cared about him. </p><p>And Bin truly cared about Dongmin, too.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. EPILOGUE</h2></a>
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</div><p> </p><p> </p><p>About a year in, they could say their relationship came with major pros and some minor cons. </p><p>The first inconvenience they ran into was that neither of them could really cook. In the case of Bin’s home situation, Minhyuk and he had settled into a routine of Minhyuk cooking all the meals and Bin doing all the dishes. </p><p>In Dongmin’s case, he was always provided meals either at the company or on set, which led him to never having to cook. </p><p>So, they looked up a crash course on how to make some simple meals on YouTube, but it ended with a broken bowl, a dirty floor and Dongmin on the kitchen counter with his legs wrapped around Bin’s waist and his tongue in his mouth.</p><p>Being intimate with someone the way he was with Bin was something he’d never experienced before. Despite his cherry having been popped years ago, he felt like a virgin the first time he and Bin had sex. </p><p>Bin had been gentle, warm and comforting unlike any of Dongmin’s previous sexual partners. And also unlike them, Dongmin wasn’t forced to be on the receiving end without discussion. Bin was incredibly open-minded and Dongmin was his first priority— he wanted Dongmin to always feel good.</p><p>The actor hadn’t previously cared much if he came or not, simply enjoying the feeling of someone’s touch, but Bin was having none of that. Therefore, when Dongmin had his first schedule-free weekend, they spent the entire two days exploring each other’s bodies, likes and dislikes. </p><p>Dongmin couldn’t even remember the name or face of the guy who took his virginity, but it didn’t matter to him, because Bin took his making-love virginity.</p><p>The actor had felt loved by the simplicity of having his hair stroked, but it didn’t compare to the level of love he felt when their bodies intertwined.</p><p>They tried to keep their sexual adventures in Dongmin’s apartment or Bin’s room with the door locked and muffled moans, as they didn’t want to make Minhyuk feel uncomfortable in his own home. </p><p>Sanha was over more than ever now, and the four of them often watched movies or played games together. Their couch, however, wasn’t big enough to fit them all, but Bin liked to sit on the floor, anyway. He’d sit with his back against the couch and Dongmin’s legs on either side of his body and the older’s hands in his hair. </p><p>Sanha often sat on the floor with Bin, but very reluctantly so, which meant he’d always end up on the couch after complaining about how uncomfortable the floor was. Minhyuk would roll his eyes, get up, allow Sanha to sit, and then make himself comfortable on Sanha’s body.</p><p>Bin was incredibly pleased to see the trust between the two of them and how well their relationship had progressed. Minhyuk grew out of worrying Sanha was going to eventually grow tired of him, and it definitely helped that Sanha had a knack for complimenting every single thing Minhyuk did.</p><p>And then there was Sua.</p><p>If Sanha was able to recognize Bin on that video despite his face being blurred, Sua could <em>definitely</em> recognize him.</p><p>So Bin told her everything, and she listened to every word with her mouth so open wide Bin feared she’d dislocate her jaw. And it was quite uncomfortable to tell her about the whole ordeal, especially considering Eunwoo had been her celebrity crush for years and still <em>was</em> her celebrity crush at that time.</p><p>When he finished, she repeatedly hit him on the arm. She wasn’t upset at her favorite actor being gay nor Bin not telling her what truly happened earlier, but just like Sanha, she was shocked Bin rejected him. </p><p>She said she wouldn’t have cared if he hurt her “as this is Cha Eunwoo”, but Bin didn’t really expect his female, straight sister to say anything else. So Bin explained his whole thought process and what the consequences of rushing into something without thinking would have been, and after a while, she seemed to understand. </p><p>“Oppa,” she’d then said sadly, taking his hand in hers. “I hope everything will be okay.”</p><p>In the three months Dongmin got destroyed by Knetz, she did everything in her power to defend him on the internet. It was a strange situation, having a sister who ran a fan account for the guy he had a crush on, but it relieved him how supportive she was about the idea of them eventually dating.</p><p>After her first official meeting with Dongmin as Bin’s boyfriend, she closed her fan account. There was no need to retweet photos or updates about the actor when she now had his phone number and could see him any time she visited Bin’s apartment. </p><p>It was still a bit awkward at first, as she knew everything about him already, but they managed to make it work, and Dongmin had even grown quite fond of her, and the three of them went out to eat whenever they were all free.</p><p>When the two of them went on their first date, neither of them were surprised at the attention they got. Dongmin got them a reservation at a nice restaurant in which they wouldn’t get bothered by cameras, but the short walk from the car to the entrance was brutal.</p><p>It was Dongmin’s first time going out in public with Bin, but the actor just took his hand in his, squeezed it and kept walking until they were safely inside.</p><p>That night, it appeared, reporters did some digging and were finally able to identify Dongmin’s mystery lover, and things started to shift. </p><p>Bin hadn’t known what to expect, but he definitely didn’t anticipate the huge increase in subscribers. He also gained Instagram followers like crazy, and the sudden attention should have made him nervous, but with his passion for dancing, his confidence only grew.</p><p>Based on the comments, Korean fans weren’t the fondest of him, but it seemed international fans were on board with their relationship. </p><p>Initially, he feared people were only following him to see more pictures of Dongmin, and Bin didn’t want to be known as “Dongmin’s boyfriend”. He wanted to be known for his talent and hard work</p><p>So he strictly only posted selfies or dance clips, and though people seemed disappointed at the start, they got used to it.</p><p>Dongmin’s own Instagram page, however, was full of pictures of the two of them. The actor had always enjoyed photography but was never allowed to post pictures he’d taken himself. But now, his feed was a mix of selfies, scenery and Bin doing literally anything. </p><p>After the younger was able to establish his own little fanbase, he started including Dongmin in his dance videos. In fact, he was slowly teaching Dongmin how to dance himself, and the actor enjoyed it despite his insecurities. </p><p>After Bin’s encouraging words, Dongmin asked if his company could provide him with singing lessons. And after a few months, he was invited to take part in the OST of his upcoming drama. </p><p>He so far hadn't been offered any main character roles, but he understood that well enough. It made him work even harder to bring the side characters he was given to life. </p><p>Having less screen time and lines to learn gave him more time to work on other hobbies he wasn’t ever allowed to explore, and of course, it gave him more time to spend with Bin. </p><p>Speaking of, he should probably wake his boyfriend up to spend a little bit of time with him before his new manager picked him up to get to set. </p><p>“Bin-ah,” Dongmin whispered, throwing one arm over the dancer’s stomach and pulling himself closer. He pressed a kiss to Bin’s bare chest. “Wake up~.”</p><p>Bin, however, just continued snoring, and Dongmin lovingly stared up at him. </p><p>He remembered lying in that hotel bed with him, crying. He’d been so scared and traumatized, but he currently couldn’t feel more at ease—Bin was Dongmin’s comfort place.</p><p>He pressed another kiss to the dancer’s skin, right next to his nipple, then rested his head there. </p><p>The sudden weight on his body must have woken the younger up, as he lifted his hand to lie on Dongmin’s back, gently stroking the skin. The actor looked up, four eyes meeting each other, then leaned forward to cover Bin’s mouth with his own in a chaste kiss.</p><p>The smile Bin offered him made Dongmin feel warm all over, and he smiled back.</p><p>Yeah. Bin truly was his home.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>that’s the end! hope u enjoyed ¨̮</p>
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